I hope life treats you kind
And I hope you have all you've dreamed of.
And I wish to you, joy and happiness.
But above all this, I wish you love
Monday, February 14, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
Chilled Bear Served Hear
This is BRILLIANT!
"Bizarre. Overloaded. Technicolor. Chaotic. Golmaal. Jugaad. Chalta hai.
You'd run out of words long before you'd run out of an India that all those words describe. And in not just one language, but many. Including SMS.
India is not a contradiction in terms. It sets the terms for all contradiction. It's the world's biggest and most energetic democracy, where people chuck out governments as frequently as they chuck out their garbage. It's a byword for immense wealth and terrible poverty, a realm of billionaires and beggars, the Maha Kumbh mela and mega malls, tantrics and Twitter.
Have you ever seen a large 'Commit No Nuisance' sign and a line of men standing under it and peeing? A state-of-the-art expressway with cows roaming across it? A train with more people sitting on the roofs of the coaches than passengers inside? A booze shop advertising "Chilled Bear Served Hear"?
"Bizarre. Overloaded. Technicolor. Chaotic. Golmaal. Jugaad. Chalta hai.
You'd run out of words long before you'd run out of an India that all those words describe. And in not just one language, but many. Including SMS.
India is not a contradiction in terms. It sets the terms for all contradiction. It's the world's biggest and most energetic democracy, where people chuck out governments as frequently as they chuck out their garbage. It's a byword for immense wealth and terrible poverty, a realm of billionaires and beggars, the Maha Kumbh mela and mega malls, tantrics and Twitter.
Have you ever seen a large 'Commit No Nuisance' sign and a line of men standing under it and peeing? A state-of-the-art expressway with cows roaming across it? A train with more people sitting on the roofs of the coaches than passengers inside? A booze shop advertising "Chilled Bear Served Hear"?
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Dear Blank Please Blank
Dear pi,
You're increasing my radius.
Sincerely, fat honours math student.
Dear rug,
I love the way you lie.
Sincerely, floor.
Dear boy,
You want your eyes back?
Sincerely, I found them in my cleavage.
Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.
Sincerely, The Titanic
Dear six-year-old-sister,
When I talk about losing my virginity on the phone, I don't need you enlisting the whole house to help me find it.
Sincerely, stop eavesdropping.
Dear guy behind me who is riding my bumper,
Unfortunately for you, I am about to make an abrupt stop just because I feel like it.
Sincerely, wheee!!!
Dear Little Mermaid,
You were a mute, I'm pretty sure that means he only liked you for your body...
Sincerely, intelligent women everywhere.
Dear Santa Claus,
The toys are ready to ship to the North Pole!
Sincerely, China
Dear person texting while walking,
Sorry for breaking your nose. Can you see me now?
Sincerely, lamp post.
Dear family,
We are on vacation. Why are we up at 7 in the morning!?
Sincerely, disgruntled teenage child.
Dear airhead in my history class,
Yes, A.D. does stand for after dinosaurs.
Sincerely, amused classmate.
Dear boys who want x-ray vision as their superpower,
Congratulations, you can now see girls' skeletons.
Sincerely, have you ever seen an x-ray?
Dear raisins,
Please get out of my cookies.
Sincerely, I thought those were chocolate chips.
Dear cereal,
They're only using you to get to me.
Sincerely, marshmallows.
Dear thighs,
Please lend me some thunder?
Sincerely, A-cups.
Dear society,
How have you managed to make girls feel bad for being virgins AND losing their virginity?
Sincerely, what do you want from us?!?
Dear roommate,
I am not giving you permission to sing louder when I turn the stereo up. I'm trying to drown out your voice.
Sincerely, you're off pitch.
Dear bus driver,
No, no, no. I was only running to see if I could get in a quick workout before school. I didn't need a ride or anything.
Sincerely, now late to class.
Dear Elevator,
Remember that night in Vegas? Well, we have a son and his name is Escalator.
Sincerely, Stairs.
Dear ancient Mayans,
Your prediction skills can't be that great... You didn't even see the Spanish coming.
Sincerely, 2012
Dear guy with big headphones who tries to act like a tough gangsta,
I can hear Party in the USA blasting from your headphones.
Sincerely, nice try.
Dear mom,
When I tell you that I can't find something, thanks for saying "Well it's gotta be somewhere!" because for a second there I thought I was looking for something that didn't exist...
Sincerely, your daughter.
Dear people who don't check their pockets before putting them in the laundry,
Thanks for the money.
Sincerely, Anonymous.
Dear guy with the British accent,
You instantly became more attractive. Say more words.
Sincerely, average American girl.
You're increasing my radius.
Sincerely, fat honours math student.
Dear rug,
I love the way you lie.
Sincerely, floor.
Dear boy,
You want your eyes back?
Sincerely, I found them in my cleavage.
Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.
Sincerely, The Titanic
Dear six-year-old-sister,
When I talk about losing my virginity on the phone, I don't need you enlisting the whole house to help me find it.
Sincerely, stop eavesdropping.
Dear guy behind me who is riding my bumper,
Unfortunately for you, I am about to make an abrupt stop just because I feel like it.
Sincerely, wheee!!!
Dear Little Mermaid,
You were a mute, I'm pretty sure that means he only liked you for your body...
Sincerely, intelligent women everywhere.
Dear Santa Claus,
The toys are ready to ship to the North Pole!
Sincerely, China
Dear person texting while walking,
Sorry for breaking your nose. Can you see me now?
Sincerely, lamp post.
Dear family,
We are on vacation. Why are we up at 7 in the morning!?
Sincerely, disgruntled teenage child.
Dear airhead in my history class,
Yes, A.D. does stand for after dinosaurs.
Sincerely, amused classmate.
Dear boys who want x-ray vision as their superpower,
Congratulations, you can now see girls' skeletons.
Sincerely, have you ever seen an x-ray?
Dear raisins,
Please get out of my cookies.
Sincerely, I thought those were chocolate chips.
Dear cereal,
They're only using you to get to me.
Sincerely, marshmallows.
Dear thighs,
Please lend me some thunder?
Sincerely, A-cups.
Dear society,
How have you managed to make girls feel bad for being virgins AND losing their virginity?
Sincerely, what do you want from us?!?
Dear roommate,
I am not giving you permission to sing louder when I turn the stereo up. I'm trying to drown out your voice.
Sincerely, you're off pitch.
Dear bus driver,
No, no, no. I was only running to see if I could get in a quick workout before school. I didn't need a ride or anything.
Sincerely, now late to class.
Dear Elevator,
Remember that night in Vegas? Well, we have a son and his name is Escalator.
Sincerely, Stairs.
Dear ancient Mayans,
Your prediction skills can't be that great... You didn't even see the Spanish coming.
Sincerely, 2012
Dear guy with big headphones who tries to act like a tough gangsta,
I can hear Party in the USA blasting from your headphones.
Sincerely, nice try.
Dear mom,
When I tell you that I can't find something, thanks for saying "Well it's gotta be somewhere!" because for a second there I thought I was looking for something that didn't exist...
Sincerely, your daughter.
Dear people who don't check their pockets before putting them in the laundry,
Thanks for the money.
Sincerely, Anonymous.
Dear guy with the British accent,
You instantly became more attractive. Say more words.
Sincerely, average American girl.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Poems from a lifetime ago
Jab main chhoti thi, jag ka, Andey jaisa tha aakaar;
Tab main yahi samajhti thi, Bus itna sa hi hai sansaar!
Phir mera ghar bana ghonsla, Sookhe tinkon se tayyar
Tab main yahi samajhti thi, Bus itna sa hi hai sansaar.
Phir main nikal padi shaakhon par, Hari bhari thi jo sukumar;
Tab main yahi samajhti thi, Bus itna sa hi hai sansaar.
Lekin jab main aasmaan mein, Udi door tak pankh pasaar
Tabhi samajh mein meri aaya, Bahut bada hai yeh sansaar!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
जो बीत गई सो बात गई
जीवन में एक सितारा था
माना वह बेहद प्यारा था
वह डूब गया तो डूब गया
अम्बर के आनन को देखो
कितने इसके तारे टूटे
कितने इसके प्यारे छूटे
जो छूट गए फिर कहाँ मिले
पर बोलो टूटे तारों पर
कब अम्बर शोक मनाता है
जो बीत गई सो बात गई
जीवन में वह था एक कुसुम
थे उसपर नित्य निछावर तुम
वह सूख गया तो सूख गया
मधुवन की छाती को देखो
सूखी कितनी इसकी कलियाँ
मुर्झाई कितनी वल्लरियाँ
जो मुर्झाई फिर कहाँ खिली
पर बोलो सूखे फूलों पर
कब मधुवन शोर मचाता है
जो बीत गई सो बात गई
जीवन में मधु का प्याला था
तुमने तन मन दे डाला था
वह टूट गया तो टूट गया
मदिरालय का आँगन देखो
कितने प्याले हिल जाते हैं
गिर मिट्टी में मिल जाते हैं
जो गिरते हैं कब उठतें हैं
पर बोलो टूटे प्यालों पर
कब मदिरालय पछताता है
जो बीत गई सो बात गई
मृदु मिटटी के हैं बने हुए
मधु घट फूटा ही करते हैं
लघु जीवन लेकर आए हैं
प्याले टूटा ही करते हैं
फिर भी मदिरालय के अन्दर
मधु के घट हैं मधु प्याले हैं
जो मादकता के मारे हैं
वे मधु लूटा ही करते हैं
वह कच्चा पीने वाला है
जिसकी ममता घट प्यालों पर
जो सच्चे मधु से जला हुआ
कब रोता है चिल्लाता है
जो बीत गई सो बात गई।
- Harivansh Rai Bachchan
-----------------------------------------------------------
सिंहासन हिल उठे राजवंशों ने भृकुटी तानी थी
बूढ़े भारत में आई फिर से नयी जवानी थी
गुमी हुई आज़ादी की कीमत सबने पहचानी थी
दूर फिरंगी को करने की सबने मन में ठानी थी
चमक उठी सन सत्तावन में, वह तलवार पुरानी थी
बुंदेले हरबोलों के मुँह हमने सुनी कहानी थी
खूब लड़ी मर्दानी वह तो झांसी वाली रानी थी
कानपूर के नाना की, मुँहबोली बहन छबीली थी
लक्ष्मीबाई नाम, पिता की वह संतान अकेली थी
नाना के सँग पढ़ती थी वह, नाना के सँग खेली थी
बरछी ढाल, कृपाण, कटारी उसकी यही सहेली थी
वीर शिवाजी की गाथायें उसकी याद ज़बानी थी
बुंदेले हरबोलों के मुँह हमने सुनी कहानी थी
- Subhadra Kumari Chauhan
----------------------------------------------------------------
पुष्प की अभिलाषा
चाह नहीं मैं सुरबाला के
गहनों में गूँथा जाऊँ
चाह नहीं, प्रेमी-माला में
बिंध प्यारी को ललचाऊँ
चाह नहीं, सम्राटों के शव
पर हे हरि, डाला जाऊँ
चाह नहीं, देवों के सिर पर
चढ़ूँ भाग्य पर इठलाऊँ
मुझे तोड़ लेना वनमाली
उस पथ पर देना तुम फेंक
मातृभूमि पर शीश चढ़ाने
जिस पर जावें वीर अनेक ।
- माखनलाल चतुर्वेदी
----------------------------------------------------------------------
वीर तुम बढ़े चलो
धीर तुम बढ़े चलो
साथ में ध्वजा रहे
बाल दल सजा रहे
ध्वज कभी झुके नहीं
दल कभी रुके नहीं
सामने पहाड़ हो
सिंह की दहाड़ हो
तुम निडर,हटो नहीं
तुम निडर,डटो वहीं
वीर तुम बढ़े चलो
धीर तुम बढ़े चलो
प्रात हो कि रात हो
संग हो न साथ हो
सूर्य से बढ़े चलो
चन्द्र से बढ़े चलो
वीर तुम बढ़े चलो
-द्वारिकाप्रसाद माहेश्वरी
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high
Where knowledge is free
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments
By narrow domestic walls
Where words come out from the depth of truth
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way
Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit
Where the mind is led forward by thee
Into ever-widening thought and action
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake
- Rabindranath Tagore
Tab main yahi samajhti thi, Bus itna sa hi hai sansaar!
Phir mera ghar bana ghonsla, Sookhe tinkon se tayyar
Tab main yahi samajhti thi, Bus itna sa hi hai sansaar.
Phir main nikal padi shaakhon par, Hari bhari thi jo sukumar;
Tab main yahi samajhti thi, Bus itna sa hi hai sansaar.
Lekin jab main aasmaan mein, Udi door tak pankh pasaar
Tabhi samajh mein meri aaya, Bahut bada hai yeh sansaar!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
जो बीत गई सो बात गई
जीवन में एक सितारा था
माना वह बेहद प्यारा था
वह डूब गया तो डूब गया
अम्बर के आनन को देखो
कितने इसके तारे टूटे
कितने इसके प्यारे छूटे
जो छूट गए फिर कहाँ मिले
पर बोलो टूटे तारों पर
कब अम्बर शोक मनाता है
जो बीत गई सो बात गई
जीवन में वह था एक कुसुम
थे उसपर नित्य निछावर तुम
वह सूख गया तो सूख गया
मधुवन की छाती को देखो
सूखी कितनी इसकी कलियाँ
मुर्झाई कितनी वल्लरियाँ
जो मुर्झाई फिर कहाँ खिली
पर बोलो सूखे फूलों पर
कब मधुवन शोर मचाता है
जो बीत गई सो बात गई
जीवन में मधु का प्याला था
तुमने तन मन दे डाला था
वह टूट गया तो टूट गया
मदिरालय का आँगन देखो
कितने प्याले हिल जाते हैं
गिर मिट्टी में मिल जाते हैं
जो गिरते हैं कब उठतें हैं
पर बोलो टूटे प्यालों पर
कब मदिरालय पछताता है
जो बीत गई सो बात गई
मृदु मिटटी के हैं बने हुए
मधु घट फूटा ही करते हैं
लघु जीवन लेकर आए हैं
प्याले टूटा ही करते हैं
फिर भी मदिरालय के अन्दर
मधु के घट हैं मधु प्याले हैं
जो मादकता के मारे हैं
वे मधु लूटा ही करते हैं
वह कच्चा पीने वाला है
जिसकी ममता घट प्यालों पर
जो सच्चे मधु से जला हुआ
कब रोता है चिल्लाता है
जो बीत गई सो बात गई।
- Harivansh Rai Bachchan
-----------------------------------------------------------
सिंहासन हिल उठे राजवंशों ने भृकुटी तानी थी
बूढ़े भारत में आई फिर से नयी जवानी थी
गुमी हुई आज़ादी की कीमत सबने पहचानी थी
दूर फिरंगी को करने की सबने मन में ठानी थी
चमक उठी सन सत्तावन में, वह तलवार पुरानी थी
बुंदेले हरबोलों के मुँह हमने सुनी कहानी थी
खूब लड़ी मर्दानी वह तो झांसी वाली रानी थी
कानपूर के नाना की, मुँहबोली बहन छबीली थी
लक्ष्मीबाई नाम, पिता की वह संतान अकेली थी
नाना के सँग पढ़ती थी वह, नाना के सँग खेली थी
बरछी ढाल, कृपाण, कटारी उसकी यही सहेली थी
वीर शिवाजी की गाथायें उसकी याद ज़बानी थी
बुंदेले हरबोलों के मुँह हमने सुनी कहानी थी
- Subhadra Kumari Chauhan
----------------------------------------------------------------
पुष्प की अभिलाषा
चाह नहीं मैं सुरबाला के
गहनों में गूँथा जाऊँ
चाह नहीं, प्रेमी-माला में
बिंध प्यारी को ललचाऊँ
चाह नहीं, सम्राटों के शव
पर हे हरि, डाला जाऊँ
चाह नहीं, देवों के सिर पर
चढ़ूँ भाग्य पर इठलाऊँ
मुझे तोड़ लेना वनमाली
उस पथ पर देना तुम फेंक
मातृभूमि पर शीश चढ़ाने
जिस पर जावें वीर अनेक ।
- माखनलाल चतुर्वेदी
----------------------------------------------------------------------
वीर तुम बढ़े चलो
धीर तुम बढ़े चलो
साथ में ध्वजा रहे
बाल दल सजा रहे
ध्वज कभी झुके नहीं
दल कभी रुके नहीं
सामने पहाड़ हो
सिंह की दहाड़ हो
तुम निडर,हटो नहीं
तुम निडर,डटो वहीं
वीर तुम बढ़े चलो
धीर तुम बढ़े चलो
प्रात हो कि रात हो
संग हो न साथ हो
सूर्य से बढ़े चलो
चन्द्र से बढ़े चलो
वीर तुम बढ़े चलो
-द्वारिकाप्रसाद माहेश्वरी
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high
Where knowledge is free
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments
By narrow domestic walls
Where words come out from the depth of truth
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way
Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit
Where the mind is led forward by thee
Into ever-widening thought and action
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake
- Rabindranath Tagore
You could be happy, I hope you are
You could be happy and I won't know
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go
And all the things that I wished I had not said
Are played in loops 'till it's madness in my head
Is it too late to remind you how we were
But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur
Most of what I remember makes me sure
I should have stopped you from walking out the door
You could be happy, I hope you are
You made me happier than I'd been by far
Somehow everything I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true
Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do
More than anything I want to see you, girl
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world
p.s. I love this song to death. I don't really know why.
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