Anna Hazare

I see my whole Facebook feed filled with Hazare causes, questions, links. I get it, ok. Finally, there is someone who is doing something about corruption, taking a stand. And we, who want India to get better but don't know how, finally see an opportunity to get involved, even if it is via Facebook and Twitter. Somebody who follows Gandhian principles? Well what could possibly go wrong with that.

But I am not one of those who has been gung-ho about this whole thing. For one thing, I have never been interested in politics. The eternal pessimist in me sees no hope for a corruption free India till someone like Lee Kuan Yew takes over (bringing his own set of problems nonetheless).

But I did read up on what's been happening, what the whole hulabaloo is about. And this anti-corruption committee that is suggested, do you think they will emerge from some hitherto unknown uncorrupt part of India? With all these immense powers which the government has agreed to in response to Hazare's Jantar Mantar fast, what if the ombudsman turns out to be corrupt? What then?

Hazare is not going to be around forever. How does he ensure that this framework will actually work? I know he has done awesome work in many, many villages in Maharashtra. But just as it is way simpler to micro-manage Singapore, so it is in a village.

I do not want to take anything away from the amazing award-winning work that Hazare has done. But the pessimist in me sees a very long way to go.

The optimist in me hopes.

Recession humour

They used to say there are only two sure things in life – death and taxes. Now there are three – death, taxes, and borrowing money from the Chinese.

Things are bad. The poor are being ignored, the country is at war, rising unemployed. In fact, Margaret Thatcher picked up the newspaper and thought, "Hey, I must still be Prime Minister."

The term credit crunch was actually the first name given to Dorset Cereal Muesli. And if you can afford to buy the stuff, then I think the the real credit crunch does not affect you.

The Dow Jones is looking so ugly and battered they are considering changing it to the Vinnie Jones.

How much do you think bankers make? Some now make as much as £150,000 a year. But they say it stimulates the economy because eventually that money will trickle down to pubs, clubs and brothels ... and so it will eventually get back in the community.

The Government has always warned us that al-Qa'ida has planned an attack to damage our economy. Well, I've a feeling someone is sitting in a cave right now going "Wasn't me".

So let me get this right, it started with Bush creating sub-prime lending, a way for the poor of America to afford their own housing. It crashes, causing worldwide financialdisaster, plummeting our banks and mortgages, but now giving a chance for first-time buyers to get on the property ladder here. Define irony...

Mervyn King today said, "There is light at the end of the tunnel." Unfortunately it is a candle.

The biggest worry in the US is gas prices getting higher, and if that happens we might see something totally unprecedented in America. People actually walking.

People are too willing to put their non-existent money on credit cards. The only people who only accept cash are drug dealers. And they've all kept their jobs and still drive around in BMWs.

What's the difference between a banker and a pigeon? A pigeon can still make a deposit on a Ferrari.

No wonder Northern Rock and Bradford and Bingley failed with the FSA in charge. What do the Food Standards Agency know about mortgages? They can't even get the fat content of a latte right.

We can't really complain about capitalism backfiring on us like this. As my grandmother used to say, "There's no point whingeing about being eaten by a horse if you've decided to play polo dressed as a sugar lump."

I knew the banks were in trouble when I turned on to watch Deal Or No Deal and the banker had disappeared. There was just Noel Edmonds, 22 boxes and a recorded message.

I remember the good old days, when "credit crunch" was just the sound your kneecaps made when the loan shark caught up with you. They were simpler times.

A man walks in to a sweet shop and says, "Have you heard about the credit crunch?" The man behind the counter replies, "Is that made by Cadbury's or Nestlé?"

Dear Ole Bush

The 'misunderestimated' president?

All politicians are prone to make slips of the tongue in the heat of the moment - and President George W Bush has made more than most.
The word "Bushism" has been coined to label his occasional verbal lapses during eight years in office, which come to an end on 20 January.
Here are some of his most memorable pronouncements.


ON HIMSELF

"They misunderestimated me."
Bentonville, Arkansas, 6 November, 2000

"I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe - I believe what I believe is right."
Rome, 22 July, 2001

"There's an old saying in Tennessee - I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee - that says, fool me once, shame on... shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again."
Nashville, Tennessee, 17 September, 2002

"There's no question that the minute I got elected, the storm clouds on the horizon were getting nearly directly overhead."
Washington DC, 11 May, 2001

"I want to thank my friend, Senator Bill Frist, for joining us today. He married a Texas girl, I want you to know. Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me."
Nashville, Tennessee, 27 May, 2004


FOREIGN AFFAIRS

"For a century and a half now, America and Japan have formed one of the great and enduring alliances of modern times."
Tokyo, 18 February, 2002

"The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein, and his willingness to terrorise himself."
Grand Rapids, Michigan, 29 January, 2003

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."
Washington DC, 5 August, 2004

"I think war is a dangerous place."
Washington DC, 7 May, 2003

"The ambassador and the general were briefing me on the - the vast majority of Iraqis want to live in a peaceful, free world. And we will find these people and we will bring them to justice."
Washington DC, 27 October, 2003

"Free societies are hopeful societies. And free societies will be allies against these hateful few who have no conscience, who kill at the whim of a hat."
Washington DC, 17 September, 2004

"You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror."
CBS News, Washington DC, 6 September, 2006


EDUCATION

"Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"
Florence, South Carolina, 11 January, 2000

"Reading is the basics for all learning."
Reston, Virginia, 28 March, 2000

"As governor of Texas, I have set high standards for our public schools, and I have met those standards."
CNN, 30 August, 2000

"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test."
Townsend, Tennessee, 21 February, 2001


ECONOMICS

"I understand small business growth. I was one."
New York Daily News, 19 February, 2000

"It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it."
Reuters, 5 May, 2000

"I do remain confident in Linda. She'll make a fine Labour Secretary. From what I've read in the press accounts, she's perfectly qualified."
Austin, Texas, 8 January, 2001

"First, let me make it very clear, poor people aren't necessarily killers. Just because you happen to be not rich doesn't mean you're willing to kill."
Washington DC, 19 May, 2003


HEALTHCARE

"I don't think we need to be subliminable about the differences between our views on prescription drugs."
Orlando, Florida, 12 September, 2000

"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB/GYN's aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country."
Poplar Bluff, Missouri, 6 September, 2004


TECHNOLOGY

"Will the highways on the internet become more few?"
Concord, New Hampshire, 29 January, 2000

"It would be a mistake for the United States Senate to allow any kind of human cloning to come out of that chamber."
Washington DC, 10 April, 2002

"Information is moving. You know, nightly news is one way, of course, but it's also moving through the blogosphere and through the Internets."
Washington DC, 2 May, 2007


OUT OF LEFT FIELD

"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully."
Saginaw, Michigan, 29 September, 2000

"Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream."
LaCrosse, Wisconsin, 18 October, 2000

"Those who enter the country illegally violate the law."
Tucson, Arizona, 28 November, 2005

"That's George Washington, the first president, of course. The interesting thing about him is that I read three - three or four books about him last year. Isn't that interesting?"
Speaking to reporter Kai Diekmann, Washington DC, 5 May, 2006


ON GOVERNING

"I have a different vision of leadership. A leadership is someone who brings people together."
Bartlett, Tennessee, 18 August, 2000

"I'm the decider, and I decide what is best."
Washington DC, 18 April, 2006

"And truth of the matter is, a lot of reports in Washington are never read by anybody. To show you how important this one is, I read it, and [Tony Blair] read it."
On the publication of the Baker-Hamilton Report, Washington DC, 7 December, 2006

"All I can tell you is when the governor calls, I answer his phone."
San Diego, California, 25 October, 2007

"I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office."
Washington DC, 12 May, 2008