Remember how when you were young, you couldn't wait for mum to come pick you up after school so you could tell her everything that had happened that day at school? And how you would repeat the same story to the first 5 people you met word-for-word?
Ok I don't really remember it, but I've seen it in kids that age. Then you reach your teens and suddenly, your parents become your worst enemy, who are out to embarrass you and basically destroy your life.
On Halloween last year in Canada, I was staying over at the house of a local gujju family. Late at night, after Trick-or-Treating was over, we had to go pick up the younger son from his friend's house which was only a few streets away. We decided to walk there so that we could look at the decorations people had put up on the way.
On the way back, the kid was basically a whirlwind, talking about all the fun that he'd had going around the neighborhood, how he'd gotten more candy than the rest of his friends, basically describing in detail every insignificant detail of the day, all the while rolling on his sports shoes.
I brought up the topic with his mother of how kids change as they grow up, and she mentioned how her daughter, who was in her teens now, was totally closed off. Don't come into my room, don't touch my stuff, don't tell me what to do.
When we got back, the little man sat and counted his horde for the day, then separated it into the different types of candy. I felt so nostalgic watching him do that. Reminded me of how I used to separate GEMS into the different colors and eat the colors which were more, so that I would end up with a fixed number of each at the end.
Where does our innocence go once we grow?
Showing posts with label Canada. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Canada. Show all posts
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Why is it?
This is e caption for someone's profile pic:
"i miss snow; i miss running out in the snow in mere slippers;
i miss chapel hill; i miss ram village, the place i resided at, cooked, did my laundry and studied in the study rooms;
i miss the feeling of really enjoying what i studied under awesome, inspiring professors who never failed to make me laugh & had a way with motivating me to do my readings~"
You can so easily make out that it's about exchange. I wonder if the people who come to NUS on exchange feel the same way.
"i miss snow; i miss running out in the snow in mere slippers;
i miss chapel hill; i miss ram village, the place i resided at, cooked, did my laundry and studied in the study rooms;
i miss the feeling of really enjoying what i studied under awesome, inspiring professors who never failed to make me laugh & had a way with motivating me to do my readings~"
You can so easily make out that it's about exchange. I wonder if the people who come to NUS on exchange feel the same way.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Travel diary
Found this in my saved drafts.
Dated 13 Oct '09
Ok so the first 2 days of our trip are done, and we leave Vancouver tomorrow morning.
The hostel that we're staying in right now is really nice and comfy, with a dorm of 4 and comfy fat blankets and pretty washrooms and decent breakfast!
Vancouver in general seems much nicer than Toronto. The people for one thing are much nicer and friendlier and helpful. It seems cheaper too, at least for transportation. There is no Provincial Tax, unlike the 8% in stupid Toronto. And plus this place is soo superbly beautiful. The fall leaves are all turning red, and this morning when we were walking towards University of British Columbia, a red tree would suddenly pop out of green coniferous (I think) trees. Very beautiful.
Which brings me to how absolutely marvelous the UBC campus is! It seems much nicer than York, bigger, greener, cleaner, with (nude) beaches next to campus. Oh and we saw fraternity/sorority houses, with their Greek names. So much fun. I wonder how popular they are in Canadian unis. I really do wish I could transfer to UBC. I'm sure I would have liked the calmness of the city. To a certain extent I regret not having researched more on unis before coming here.
Then we went to Stanley Park, which is simply HUGE. We spent most of the day walking, mostly in circles. And then at the end of the day got lost, and had to lumber around in the dark towards the Fish House, where we has a reservation. But it turned out to be nice food, I had to have the Penne Pasta, as it was the only veg thing they had. But then the Lava Cake was quite decent. Though Bloody Mary was simply awful. Note to self - NEVER have it ever again. But the Fish House people did not charge me for it since I drank a sip of it and left it because I didn't like it. Very sweet, no? It's funny how sophisticated and classy the place was, and we were probably the only people who didn't drive there, instead we hiked :P
Yesterday we walked to Granville Island (we really seem to be doing a lot of walking). It was very nice and the Public Market was very cute too. Oh and the I bought the first season of the original 90210, as I haven't been able to find it online anywhere. Yipeee :) In the evening we almost went clubbing, but decided we were under-dressed after seeing all gals turning out in strapless dresses and high heels. How people can survive without 5 layers of clothes in that cold beats me. And Vancouver Film Festival (VIFF) is also on. Somehow wherever we go there seems to be a film festival going on. TIFF was on when we landed in Toronto.
Tomorrow is a long bus journey, so I'm glad I bought an iPod, brought Sons & Lovers and brought my laptop.
--------------
I loved travelling in that Moose Travels tour bus. The people were really friendly. The overnight stay at Shushwap Lake was quite memorable, with cute Australian guys in the same room, haha. And the discussion on who was from where over dinner in that very typical pub/grill place was so interesting. Almost made me wish I had been travelling for as long as some of them had. One of the guys was doing an around the world in an year trip. So cool.
Dated 13 Oct '09
Ok so the first 2 days of our trip are done, and we leave Vancouver tomorrow morning.
The hostel that we're staying in right now is really nice and comfy, with a dorm of 4 and comfy fat blankets and pretty washrooms and decent breakfast!
Vancouver in general seems much nicer than Toronto. The people for one thing are much nicer and friendlier and helpful. It seems cheaper too, at least for transportation. There is no Provincial Tax, unlike the 8% in stupid Toronto. And plus this place is soo superbly beautiful. The fall leaves are all turning red, and this morning when we were walking towards University of British Columbia, a red tree would suddenly pop out of green coniferous (I think) trees. Very beautiful.
Which brings me to how absolutely marvelous the UBC campus is! It seems much nicer than York, bigger, greener, cleaner, with (nude) beaches next to campus. Oh and we saw fraternity/sorority houses, with their Greek names. So much fun. I wonder how popular they are in Canadian unis. I really do wish I could transfer to UBC. I'm sure I would have liked the calmness of the city. To a certain extent I regret not having researched more on unis before coming here.
Then we went to Stanley Park, which is simply HUGE. We spent most of the day walking, mostly in circles. And then at the end of the day got lost, and had to lumber around in the dark towards the Fish House, where we has a reservation. But it turned out to be nice food, I had to have the Penne Pasta, as it was the only veg thing they had. But then the Lava Cake was quite decent. Though Bloody Mary was simply awful. Note to self - NEVER have it ever again. But the Fish House people did not charge me for it since I drank a sip of it and left it because I didn't like it. Very sweet, no? It's funny how sophisticated and classy the place was, and we were probably the only people who didn't drive there, instead we hiked :P
Yesterday we walked to Granville Island (we really seem to be doing a lot of walking). It was very nice and the Public Market was very cute too. Oh and the I bought the first season of the original 90210, as I haven't been able to find it online anywhere. Yipeee :) In the evening we almost went clubbing, but decided we were under-dressed after seeing all gals turning out in strapless dresses and high heels. How people can survive without 5 layers of clothes in that cold beats me. And Vancouver Film Festival (VIFF) is also on. Somehow wherever we go there seems to be a film festival going on. TIFF was on when we landed in Toronto.
Tomorrow is a long bus journey, so I'm glad I bought an iPod, brought Sons & Lovers and brought my laptop.
--------------
I loved travelling in that Moose Travels tour bus. The people were really friendly. The overnight stay at Shushwap Lake was quite memorable, with cute Australian guys in the same room, haha. And the discussion on who was from where over dinner in that very typical pub/grill place was so interesting. Almost made me wish I had been travelling for as long as some of them had. One of the guys was doing an around the world in an year trip. So cool.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Sometimes, all you can do is cry.
Today, as I was clearing my camera's memory card photos, I chanced upon some random pics I took in the last few days in Toronto. I know the picture below seems unremarkable, nothing to set it apart from the others. But the moment I saw it, I felt like I couldn't breathe, like there was such a horrible ache in the pit of my stomach. Happens whenever I remember small little details. Everytime. Oh God when will I stop missing it.
The heater, and how for the first month it used to give out cold air. The window, out of which I saw falling snow in Toronto for the first time, and how happy and excited I was and how I messaged everyone I knew. The tree outside my room, of which I saw the leaves turn from green to yellow-red and then fall off, and the squirrel which jumped around, first on the leaves then the snow. The window ledge, on which I kept my toiletries. That bottle which is in Hong Kong right now I think. How I felt the first day when I walked into that room and tried to fathom how it would be my home for a whole semester, how I'd felt when we were driving into campus for the very first time and tried to make myself understand that this was it. How we got lost on the way to McLaughlin College, and then the loud music that greeted us when we reached there. The Winters College pub. Queuing up in Tim Hortons queues for an Iced Cap even though it was freezing outside.
I've almost forgotten what it was like to need gloves so bad you would freeze if you ventured out without them. How I forgot how cold it was outside one day and had to walk 10 minutes in the cold in flip flops to my class, by the end of which my feet were ready to fall off. How you had to take off your jacket and scarf and gloves when you reached class and hung it over the back of your chair. And sitting in the Prism labs on Thursdays, trying to finish the killer Gunnar assignments.
Where walking to York Lanes to get soup and a bagel sandwich from Canadian Bagel meant something. Where a mix of fruit salad was dinner sometimes. And the Italian place Mangia Mangia with its Indian staff, and how the old Punjabi aunty told me on the last day "it was nice doing business with you" when I told her I would not be returning next sem.
Where you had to wear boots so you wouldn't slip on the ice. How everything was covered in snow after the first snowstorm within an hour. The Boat Cruise and the amazing Toronto skyline. And Fall. And how absolutely gorgeous it was. And how beautiful British Columbia was, with its red trees and the amazing UBC campus. And Alberta and the Rockies. And the people in that Moose Tour bus. And then the French Canada trip. And Quebec with its very French charm. And the pickles.
Oh gosh! Make this stream of memories stop.
The heater, and how for the first month it used to give out cold air. The window, out of which I saw falling snow in Toronto for the first time, and how happy and excited I was and how I messaged everyone I knew. The tree outside my room, of which I saw the leaves turn from green to yellow-red and then fall off, and the squirrel which jumped around, first on the leaves then the snow. The window ledge, on which I kept my toiletries. That bottle which is in Hong Kong right now I think. How I felt the first day when I walked into that room and tried to fathom how it would be my home for a whole semester, how I'd felt when we were driving into campus for the very first time and tried to make myself understand that this was it. How we got lost on the way to McLaughlin College, and then the loud music that greeted us when we reached there. The Winters College pub. Queuing up in Tim Hortons queues for an Iced Cap even though it was freezing outside.
I've almost forgotten what it was like to need gloves so bad you would freeze if you ventured out without them. How I forgot how cold it was outside one day and had to walk 10 minutes in the cold in flip flops to my class, by the end of which my feet were ready to fall off. How you had to take off your jacket and scarf and gloves when you reached class and hung it over the back of your chair. And sitting in the Prism labs on Thursdays, trying to finish the killer Gunnar assignments.
Where walking to York Lanes to get soup and a bagel sandwich from Canadian Bagel meant something. Where a mix of fruit salad was dinner sometimes. And the Italian place Mangia Mangia with its Indian staff, and how the old Punjabi aunty told me on the last day "it was nice doing business with you" when I told her I would not be returning next sem.
Where you had to wear boots so you wouldn't slip on the ice. How everything was covered in snow after the first snowstorm within an hour. The Boat Cruise and the amazing Toronto skyline. And Fall. And how absolutely gorgeous it was. And how beautiful British Columbia was, with its red trees and the amazing UBC campus. And Alberta and the Rockies. And the people in that Moose Tour bus. And then the French Canada trip. And Quebec with its very French charm. And the pickles.
Oh gosh! Make this stream of memories stop.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Bhoole jo hain tujhko ab unko bhool ja tu bhi
Yes I have Edward Cullen as my desktop background. Yes I am shallow. No I don't care.
You need to recognise when something has run its course and there is no good way it can end. Then you need to let it go.
A person of the opposite gender gives you highs and lows of extreme happiness and sadness. But a friend is that one stable thing who is there no matter what you are going through. Who understands when you're too busy being happy but is there to catch you when you fall. Be grateful for friends.
It's amazing how many levels the hotness of a person increases if they're seen with a guitar. Or in uniform.
It's a girl thing to feel guilty about everything isn't it? We apologise way too much, at times even when it's the guy's fault. Strange.
It looks like Canada is going to be harder to get over than any guy by far! What can I say, some things just take time, 9 women can't make a baby in a month! :P
You need to recognise when something has run its course and there is no good way it can end. Then you need to let it go.
A person of the opposite gender gives you highs and lows of extreme happiness and sadness. But a friend is that one stable thing who is there no matter what you are going through. Who understands when you're too busy being happy but is there to catch you when you fall. Be grateful for friends.
It's amazing how many levels the hotness of a person increases if they're seen with a guitar. Or in uniform.
It's a girl thing to feel guilty about everything isn't it? We apologise way too much, at times even when it's the guy's fault. Strange.
It looks like Canada is going to be harder to get over than any guy by far! What can I say, some things just take time, 9 women can't make a baby in a month! :P
Xchange Yorkself
I think the main reason we miss things so much when they are gone is because we sub-consciously choose to remember only the good parts.
I miss Canada whenever I see other people's photos, because I remember how much fun it was playing in the snow, not how cold and depressing it was.
I remember how much fun travelling was, not how annoying the planning was or how tiring it was.
I remember how beautiful it was, not how expensive.
I remember how awesome it was to get to know more people, not how lonely I was at times.
I remember the awesome parties, not how strange the cultural difference was.
Now, if given the choice to spend another sem in Canada, I would readily agree. But I remember when I was there I was glad I wouldn't be there for the winter sem.
I miss bagels, and soup, and Tim Hortons, and the huge slices of pizzas. But I am glad for how cheap Singapore now feels. I am glad that I can come back home at 2 in the night, and feel perfectly safe. I am glad I don't have to wear 5 layers of clothes before I leave my room. I am glad to be able to wear skirts and shorts and spaghettis again. I am glad for feeling like I belong again.
But all said and done, I do miss Canada. A lot. Always will. It gave me something that Singapore has never been able to. It is just way too beautiful. Every city is a natural attraction, without even trying, unlike Sg.
It is a feeling that cannot be expressed in words. It is something that only those who go through it can relate to and understand. Because I know when I turn to someone who was there, and say "I MISS IT", they know exactly what I am talking about. It's been more than 2 months since I left all that behind. Yet, even now, I can just close my eyes and be back there. Because to the rest, it was just 4 months. To me, it was another life.
I miss Canada whenever I see other people's photos, because I remember how much fun it was playing in the snow, not how cold and depressing it was.
I remember how much fun travelling was, not how annoying the planning was or how tiring it was.
I remember how beautiful it was, not how expensive.
I remember how awesome it was to get to know more people, not how lonely I was at times.
I remember the awesome parties, not how strange the cultural difference was.
Now, if given the choice to spend another sem in Canada, I would readily agree. But I remember when I was there I was glad I wouldn't be there for the winter sem.
I miss bagels, and soup, and Tim Hortons, and the huge slices of pizzas. But I am glad for how cheap Singapore now feels. I am glad that I can come back home at 2 in the night, and feel perfectly safe. I am glad I don't have to wear 5 layers of clothes before I leave my room. I am glad to be able to wear skirts and shorts and spaghettis again. I am glad for feeling like I belong again.
But all said and done, I do miss Canada. A lot. Always will. It gave me something that Singapore has never been able to. It is just way too beautiful. Every city is a natural attraction, without even trying, unlike Sg.
It is a feeling that cannot be expressed in words. It is something that only those who go through it can relate to and understand. Because I know when I turn to someone who was there, and say "I MISS IT", they know exactly what I am talking about. It's been more than 2 months since I left all that behind. Yet, even now, I can just close my eyes and be back there. Because to the rest, it was just 4 months. To me, it was another life.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Coz I hate goodbyes
"And as it all draws to a conclusion, I wonder once again why every good thing must come to an end. Last exam, last 3 days in Toronto, last time I'll be seeing all these people, living in the midst of snow, freezing in the cold. I don't want to go :'( "
"I cannot believe this term has come to an end. I REALLY REALLY do not want to go back, to the same tiny little country, the same old people. To a place where people will expect me to be the same, whom I will expect to be the same. And even though it will all be the same, it will be very very different."
"As I leave on this cold, early morning, it strikes me that not only am I saying goodbye to Toronto, but also to all the other cities that I've visited and lived in over the past few months. Few months which seem like years, not for the sheer volume, but the fact that they've been so normal, so casual, so beautiful."
And with that, my backlog of things to post from my phone to my blog is complete.
"I cannot believe this term has come to an end. I REALLY REALLY do not want to go back, to the same tiny little country, the same old people. To a place where people will expect me to be the same, whom I will expect to be the same. And even though it will all be the same, it will be very very different."
"As I leave on this cold, early morning, it strikes me that not only am I saying goodbye to Toronto, but also to all the other cities that I've visited and lived in over the past few months. Few months which seem like years, not for the sheer volume, but the fact that they've been so normal, so casual, so beautiful."
And with that, my backlog of things to post from my phone to my blog is complete.
Snow
Snow is such a beautiful thing. Sure it gets dreary after a while when it's been lying on the ground and gets dirty and slippery. But when it's falling, in a gentle shower, it is so beautiful.
This is what I wrote one day when I was walking back to my room in York:
"When I see the tiny flakes falling all around me, it gives me a feeling of contentment. And of warmth inside, even though my face (the only exposed part of my body), is freezing. I can sit and watch it for hours from my window. I can forget my woes, and just be happy to be alive." :)
It's a feeling similar to when you sit on a beach and watch the waves crash against the shore. Or when you stand in the middle of a woods, with no one else around, just Nature.
I miss snow.
This is what I wrote one day when I was walking back to my room in York:
"When I see the tiny flakes falling all around me, it gives me a feeling of contentment. And of warmth inside, even though my face (the only exposed part of my body), is freezing. I can sit and watch it for hours from my window. I can forget my woes, and just be happy to be alive." :)
It's a feeling similar to when you sit on a beach and watch the waves crash against the shore. Or when you stand in the middle of a woods, with no one else around, just Nature.
I miss snow.
You know you've been in Toronto too long when
I wrote down these things while I was in Toronto, after reading some note on the idea - You know you've lived in ___ long enough when.
- When it's ok to join a Tim Hortons queue even though it is 3 rows long, because you know you'll be served within the next 15 minutes.
- When you check the weather everytime before leaving room.
- When you check the weather 5 times a day to remind yourself that it is cold outside, and bless the people who came up with central heating.
- When 15 degrees in India feels like summer.
- When pasta is also a salad.
- When no matter which part of the city you are in, a plane WILL pass over your head every 5 minutes.
- When there is so much static around due to lack of humidity that you're scared of touching door handles for fear of electrocution, and separating laundry clothes after drying them in the dryer, especially jackets, socks and scarves, is an experiment in electricity.
- When it's ok to join a Tim Hortons queue even though it is 3 rows long, because you know you'll be served within the next 15 minutes.
- When you check the weather everytime before leaving room.
- When you check the weather 5 times a day to remind yourself that it is cold outside, and bless the people who came up with central heating.
- When 15 degrees in India feels like summer.
- When pasta is also a salad.
- When no matter which part of the city you are in, a plane WILL pass over your head every 5 minutes.
- When there is so much static around due to lack of humidity that you're scared of touching door handles for fear of electrocution, and separating laundry clothes after drying them in the dryer, especially jackets, socks and scarves, is an experiment in electricity.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Sin
A friend of mine once used the analogy of a sine curve to describe feelings. And I have never found a better one. Though going by my normal tendency to dramatise things, I call it a roller-coaster.
Take today for example. I accidentally broke the 2 scented candles I'd bought for a couple of my friends. The plastic bag tore and fell right at the moment I was giving to someone. Came safe all the way from Toronto to here, but had to break at the ultimate moment. It's so depressing.
And then I wasted more than an hour in attempts to, umm, "shikaar"-karofy. Well Hindi mein yahi badal ke aata hai. Which magically panned out eventually. Yay! :D
But then I realized that information is a two-edged, very sharp sword, that needs to be used with lots of care!
Being civil when I'm pissed is so not my forte.
Take today for example. I accidentally broke the 2 scented candles I'd bought for a couple of my friends. The plastic bag tore and fell right at the moment I was giving to someone. Came safe all the way from Toronto to here, but had to break at the ultimate moment. It's so depressing.
And then I wasted more than an hour in attempts to, umm, "shikaar"-karofy. Well Hindi mein yahi badal ke aata hai. Which magically panned out eventually. Yay! :D
But then I realized that information is a two-edged, very sharp sword, that needs to be used with lots of care!
Being civil when I'm pissed is so not my forte.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Kaise batayein
So I think I've managed to befuddle my mind into not knowing what is acceptable and what not anymore. For example, when I'm in a bus, I'm not sure anymore if it right to drive on the left side or right side. Ok I should stop wailing about this before people start collecting rotten tomatoes to throw at me next time they see me :D
So what's new? Hmm, lemme see. Nothing. And everything. But it's a different kind of new. Since it's been old before. Blah blah. Too early morning for philosophical shit.
I'm beginning to miss human company, after 2 weeks of trying to escape from it. Why must everyone be doing IA? :|
So what's new? Hmm, lemme see. Nothing. And everything. But it's a different kind of new. Since it's been old before. Blah blah. Too early morning for philosophical shit.
I'm beginning to miss human company, after 2 weeks of trying to escape from it. Why must everyone be doing IA? :|
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Toronto Withdrawal Symptoms
Right now I'm in the smug phase, where everything in Singapore is stupid and meaningless and worthless. I feel like miss high-and-mighty when I look around at the minions around. It won't be long, however, before NUS brings me down a peg or two. You see that is something Singapore specialises in, bringing you down to your knees and making you feel dumb. But I shall enjoy feeling greater while it lasts :)
And I am suffering from withdrawal symptoms from Toronto. Like:
-- Saying 'take-away' instead of 'to-go'
-- Trying to walk to the right when passing people
-- Almost getting killed under cars because you expect them to go the other way
-- Finding the Singapore weather unbearably hot and humid
-- Missing snow. Rain is stupid.
-- Being amused when people talk about how cold India winters are
-- Finding it strange to leave room without a jacket
-- Not needing to check the weather before leaving room to ensure you dress warm enough
-- Still checking Toronto weather everyday because I have the weather network page bookmarked, even though I will probably never go back to the city ever again. And feeling happy when I see snow expected
-- Refusing to remove the links I have saved for York. It doesn't feel right to become all NUS-ised again :(
-- Finding this place incredibly cheap
-- Missing small size classes, with non-Chink profs
-- Missing actually being friends with my classmates, because there were only 10 of them, not 10,000
-- Telling people exchange was awesome, and that I HATE being back
-- Finding the conversations here strange and unfamiliar
-- Finding the exchange students here not good looking enough, because "I've seen better, much better"
-- Too many chinks everywhere you go
-- Still trying to recall where what is on campus
-- Not being able to remember the name of many, many people till someone says it out loud
-- Actually saying 'Hola!' and 'Gracias' - habit of 2 weeks in Cuba
And I am suffering from withdrawal symptoms from Toronto. Like:
-- Saying 'take-away' instead of 'to-go'
-- Trying to walk to the right when passing people
-- Almost getting killed under cars because you expect them to go the other way
-- Finding the Singapore weather unbearably hot and humid
-- Missing snow. Rain is stupid.
-- Being amused when people talk about how cold India winters are
-- Finding it strange to leave room without a jacket
-- Not needing to check the weather before leaving room to ensure you dress warm enough
-- Still checking Toronto weather everyday because I have the weather network page bookmarked, even though I will probably never go back to the city ever again. And feeling happy when I see snow expected
-- Refusing to remove the links I have saved for York. It doesn't feel right to become all NUS-ised again :(
-- Finding this place incredibly cheap
-- Missing small size classes, with non-Chink profs
-- Missing actually being friends with my classmates, because there were only 10 of them, not 10,000
-- Telling people exchange was awesome, and that I HATE being back
-- Finding the conversations here strange and unfamiliar
-- Finding the exchange students here not good looking enough, because "I've seen better, much better"
-- Too many chinks everywhere you go
-- Still trying to recall where what is on campus
-- Not being able to remember the name of many, many people till someone says it out loud
-- Actually saying 'Hola!' and 'Gracias' - habit of 2 weeks in Cuba
Monday, January 11, 2010
STUPID
This world is full of stupid people, stupid events, stupid websites, stupid courses, stupid professors. Stupid stupid stupid!
Like all other dumb people, I totally did not expect reverse cultural shock. At least in Toronto I gave myself time to get used to the place. When I go to India also I allow for some adaptation time. But somehow I expected to be able to handle Singapore from Day 1.
My first lecture back here has felt like right out of hell. Mind numbingly boring NUS profs. I haven't even met up with all my friends yet, haven't been able to get a peaceful night of sleep for more than 10 days.
I don't have a place to stay, which I think is one of the main reasons I feel like a ship without anchor. All my stuff is strewn around the world, some in sis' room, some at friend's guardians place, and some in Toronto. I hate this. I don't even remember what stuff I have. I'm sure I'm gonna end up buying doubles of things, and then regret later, since I'm more than 4500 dollars in debt right now. Oh yay.
I miss Toronto so much, mainly because right now that is my definition of normal. And Singapore feels stupid. I don't even know what to wear. Leaving the room without a jacket feels strange, and the heat and humidity has hit me like a cannon ball. Even the idea of having to handle cash at every place instead of the YorkU card and tokens feels strange. Though I think my accent has had a speedy return to normal.
I really need some generous supplies of patience right now, and a lot of time spent on campus, so that it can become normal again. And now I must re-try to listen to the stupid prof.
Like all other dumb people, I totally did not expect reverse cultural shock. At least in Toronto I gave myself time to get used to the place. When I go to India also I allow for some adaptation time. But somehow I expected to be able to handle Singapore from Day 1.
My first lecture back here has felt like right out of hell. Mind numbingly boring NUS profs. I haven't even met up with all my friends yet, haven't been able to get a peaceful night of sleep for more than 10 days.
I don't have a place to stay, which I think is one of the main reasons I feel like a ship without anchor. All my stuff is strewn around the world, some in sis' room, some at friend's guardians place, and some in Toronto. I hate this. I don't even remember what stuff I have. I'm sure I'm gonna end up buying doubles of things, and then regret later, since I'm more than 4500 dollars in debt right now. Oh yay.
I miss Toronto so much, mainly because right now that is my definition of normal. And Singapore feels stupid. I don't even know what to wear. Leaving the room without a jacket feels strange, and the heat and humidity has hit me like a cannon ball. Even the idea of having to handle cash at every place instead of the YorkU card and tokens feels strange. Though I think my accent has had a speedy return to normal.
I really need some generous supplies of patience right now, and a lot of time spent on campus, so that it can become normal again. And now I must re-try to listen to the stupid prof.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Bitch.
What is with this abundance of thankless people that have sprung up like mushrooms all around me? They expect you to do everything for them, and then give you attitude.
For instance, there is this great woman with whom I did 5 programming assignments. We used to split the report and do half the questions each. For the last one, she was kind enough to inform me on the last day that she had not done anything and would not be doing anything as she was busy with another project. How kind of her. Even though we'd had more than 3 weeks for the assignment. And she also gladly told me, "Oh remember to put my name on what you submit ok?" Since I was busy with another project at the time, I obviously did not have time to do the questions which the great woman did not do, and had to submit only half the report which I had done earlier. And obviously I did not put her name on it.
So when the grades came out, and hers showed a zero, she posted on the course forum, literally yelling at the professor for not giving her marks. "I understand that we couldn't submit the complete report due to a situation. but i dont know if that should stop us from receiving marks at all." A situation indeed.
The professor replied saying that "This is a topic that should be addressed through email. (duh! But how can you expect such a female to have any common sense)
No grade has been recorded because I did not receive a report with your name on it.
If you submitted a joint report, then either you or your partner forgot to put your name on the report. If this is the case, then please ask your partner to email me to confirm that you contributed to the report and I will add the grade."
So she called me up and tells me to email him. Yes TELLs. Was it not obvious that I had not put her name on the report for a reason - that she did not deserve the grade since she did NO work AT ALL? And idiot that I am, I should have just given her a piece of my mind then. But for some disturbingly bizarrely annoying reason, this stupid tongue of mine, which is willing to slice people's throats for no good reason at most times, decides to not unleash itself when most required.
Oh and she also asked me on the phone if there was a scanner on campus. I said maybe in the library. Then she tells me, oh can you find the third edition of the book and scan a certain page and send to me. I'll pay you. Oh right, sure. Just one question, WHEN DID I BECOME YOUR FUCKING SLAVE?
So I did email the prof, and then sent the great woman a scathing email telling her "I have emailed to include your name for the report. However, I just want to say that I think it is completely unfair for you to get credit for a piece of work that you did not contribute to. Even more so, it would have been have been good if you could have informed me beforehand that you would not be doing the report, so I could have at least completed it on my own. I understand that you were busy with your other project, but so was I. And in all fairness, we were given more than 3 weeks for that assignment. Anyways, good luck with the exam."
And her reply, "comon yar ..i appreciate u doing the favor cuz i understand where nd what has gone wrong...but u cud've talked about it on phone or last day when i saw u. i wouldnt' want u to keep grudges for me in heart. if i were at ur place, you wouldnt get this from me. i m sorry if i have hurt you. but i dont think we should say bye to each other on a bitter note ;)"
Oh right I'm sorry. My bad, I should have said a big NO in the first place since you seem to have an unusually thick skin.
For instance, there is this great woman with whom I did 5 programming assignments. We used to split the report and do half the questions each. For the last one, she was kind enough to inform me on the last day that she had not done anything and would not be doing anything as she was busy with another project. How kind of her. Even though we'd had more than 3 weeks for the assignment. And she also gladly told me, "Oh remember to put my name on what you submit ok?" Since I was busy with another project at the time, I obviously did not have time to do the questions which the great woman did not do, and had to submit only half the report which I had done earlier. And obviously I did not put her name on it.
So when the grades came out, and hers showed a zero, she posted on the course forum, literally yelling at the professor for not giving her marks. "I understand that we couldn't submit the complete report due to a situation. but i dont know if that should stop us from receiving marks at all." A situation indeed.
The professor replied saying that "This is a topic that should be addressed through email. (duh! But how can you expect such a female to have any common sense)
No grade has been recorded because I did not receive a report with your name on it.
If you submitted a joint report, then either you or your partner forgot to put your name on the report. If this is the case, then please ask your partner to email me to confirm that you contributed to the report and I will add the grade."
So she called me up and tells me to email him. Yes TELLs. Was it not obvious that I had not put her name on the report for a reason - that she did not deserve the grade since she did NO work AT ALL? And idiot that I am, I should have just given her a piece of my mind then. But for some disturbingly bizarrely annoying reason, this stupid tongue of mine, which is willing to slice people's throats for no good reason at most times, decides to not unleash itself when most required.
Oh and she also asked me on the phone if there was a scanner on campus. I said maybe in the library. Then she tells me, oh can you find the third edition of the book and scan a certain page and send to me. I'll pay you. Oh right, sure. Just one question, WHEN DID I BECOME YOUR FUCKING SLAVE?
So I did email the prof, and then sent the great woman a scathing email telling her "I have emailed
And her reply, "comon yar ..i appreciate u doing the favor cuz i understand where nd what has gone wrong...but u cud've talked about it on phone or last day when i saw u. i wouldnt' want u to keep grudges for me in heart. if i were at ur place, you wouldnt get this from me. i m sorry if i have hurt you. but i dont think we should say bye to each other on a bitter note ;)"
Oh right I'm sorry. My bad, I should have said a big NO in the first place since you seem to have an unusually thick skin.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
Grr..
I have no reason to be alive right now.
I have no place to live for the next sem. I don't want to live off campus, considering that I'll probably have to work somewhere to get enough money to pay for it if I do manage to find a room while living 7 oceans away. I'm thinking of taking 5-6 heavy modules next sem, so working and travelling to school everyday don't seem like very appealing ideas to me right now.
My "friends" don't even remember I exist anymore, considering I haven't talked to most of them in months. Of course they are too busy to be bothered. Oh wait, it's holidays.
I have exams going on, still got 4 left. While most people here have no exams or have finished them already.
Well I guess the only reason to be alive right now is so I can sit in the library and study. Wait did I say it was a reason to be alive?
I have no place to live for the next sem. I don't want to live off campus, considering that I'll probably have to work somewhere to get enough money to pay for it if I do manage to find a room while living 7 oceans away. I'm thinking of taking 5-6 heavy modules next sem, so working and travelling to school everyday don't seem like very appealing ideas to me right now.
My "friends" don't even remember I exist anymore, considering I haven't talked to most of them in months. Of course they are too busy to be bothered. Oh wait, it's holidays.
I have exams going on, still got 4 left. While most people here have no exams or have finished them already.
Well I guess the only reason to be alive right now is so I can sit in the library and study. Wait did I say it was a reason to be alive?
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
It's so bloody cold!
It's like God heard us saying, it's not that cold for winter yet. And he was, ahh you want cold, THERE YOU GO MISSY!
It's freaking -21 degrees with the wind chill. ANY exposed parts of you, like your face, and the fingertips of your fingerless gloves will literally FREEZE out in the open and then thaw once you come inside.
I'm wearing fours layers of clothes on top, including 2 jackets and a very warm top, and 2 layers below, but it doesn't seem to help too much.
Why do I even bother going out, you might ask. Well I have a freaking exam tomorrow, for which I need the library book, which is on reserve, so I can get it for only 2 hours at a time, and must wait at least half an hour before I can re-issue it. So you see, for that half an hour, I either take my laptop along and waste time on that, which somehow always extends more than half an hour, and also means that I have to carry the laptop in my hand, which means I cannot keep my hands in my pocket. And I definitely cannot fit my laptop in my handbag since I already feel fat enough with so many clothes, and carrying a really fat bag on your hand becomes virtually impossible with the fat jackets on.
So you see, I've made 2 trips to the library already, and must make one more. Since I have only managed to read (almost) the first 7 chapters out of 11, and the emphasis for the exam is chapters 8-11. I am so doomed. And somehow the first thing on my mind is not the exam, but the cold. Thing is, it takes me about 2 hours to convince myself to go out everytime, so you can imagine how much work is getting done.
I can totally understand why people are grumpier and more depressed in the winter. I certainly am. It's too bloody cold to venture out, and sitting at home doing nothing is mind-numbing. I'm just glad classes are over, so I can choose to stay home. But then again, for all the up-coming exams, I need to study from the library books, most of which are also on reserve. So you see, I'm doomed!
It's freaking -21 degrees with the wind chill. ANY exposed parts of you, like your face, and the fingertips of your fingerless gloves will literally FREEZE out in the open and then thaw once you come inside.
I'm wearing fours layers of clothes on top, including 2 jackets and a very warm top, and 2 layers below, but it doesn't seem to help too much.
Why do I even bother going out, you might ask. Well I have a freaking exam tomorrow, for which I need the library book, which is on reserve, so I can get it for only 2 hours at a time, and must wait at least half an hour before I can re-issue it. So you see, for that half an hour, I either take my laptop along and waste time on that, which somehow always extends more than half an hour, and also means that I have to carry the laptop in my hand, which means I cannot keep my hands in my pocket. And I definitely cannot fit my laptop in my handbag since I already feel fat enough with so many clothes, and carrying a really fat bag on your hand becomes virtually impossible with the fat jackets on.
So you see, I've made 2 trips to the library already, and must make one more. Since I have only managed to read (almost) the first 7 chapters out of 11, and the emphasis for the exam is chapters 8-11. I am so doomed. And somehow the first thing on my mind is not the exam, but the cold. Thing is, it takes me about 2 hours to convince myself to go out everytime, so you can imagine how much work is getting done.
I can totally understand why people are grumpier and more depressed in the winter. I certainly am. It's too bloody cold to venture out, and sitting at home doing nothing is mind-numbing. I'm just glad classes are over, so I can choose to stay home. But then again, for all the up-coming exams, I need to study from the library books, most of which are also on reserve. So you see, I'm doomed!
Monday, December 7, 2009
Funnnn...
I know I'm going to do it. Even though I know I shouldn't. Even though everything in my past experience tells me I'm gonna regret it. But I know I'm gonna do it.
Anywho this was a FUCKING AWESOME WEEKEND! Went clubbing on fri, but I didn't take my passport, tried another card but they didn't accept it as ID. So went to some sad pub-club place for a while, but it was ok. Then yesterday was half a day of shopping for swimwear. And then Cavalcade of Lights = fireworks. Then today we drove to Kitchener, to see a German Christmas market. And then came back to Harbourfront for the highlight of this weekend - ice skating! My first time ever. I fell smack on my butt about 5 times, so I feel like I might have broken my tail bone. I definitely sprained my right wrist and now it hurts. It somehow always hurts in exam time, and then I need to apply counterpain generously. But it was good. I haven't quite gotten the hang of the balancing thing for skating, but thanx to some awesome friends who held my hands and made me go around the place, it was good. I look forward to doing it again sometime :) Preferably after my butt heals and I forget how unsettling it was :P
And now the next weekend is even more fun, in as sadistic a sense as possible. Fri 7-10pm exam, Sat 7-9pm exam. It's basically 6 exams in the next 17 days. And then it shall be packing and another vacation. Before it's back to true reality. Singapore will feel so boring now, I'll probably cry my eyes out and miss Canada so much! But ah well, that's life. The fun of vacation comes only when you know you truly deserve it and long for it!
Anywho this was a FUCKING AWESOME WEEKEND! Went clubbing on fri, but I didn't take my passport, tried another card but they didn't accept it as ID. So went to some sad pub-club place for a while, but it was ok. Then yesterday was half a day of shopping for swimwear. And then Cavalcade of Lights = fireworks. Then today we drove to Kitchener, to see a German Christmas market. And then came back to Harbourfront for the highlight of this weekend - ice skating! My first time ever. I fell smack on my butt about 5 times, so I feel like I might have broken my tail bone. I definitely sprained my right wrist and now it hurts. It somehow always hurts in exam time, and then I need to apply counterpain generously. But it was good. I haven't quite gotten the hang of the balancing thing for skating, but thanx to some awesome friends who held my hands and made me go around the place, it was good. I look forward to doing it again sometime :) Preferably after my butt heals and I forget how unsettling it was :P
And now the next weekend is even more fun, in as sadistic a sense as possible. Fri 7-10pm exam, Sat 7-9pm exam. It's basically 6 exams in the next 17 days. And then it shall be packing and another vacation. Before it's back to true reality. Singapore will feel so boring now, I'll probably cry my eyes out and miss Canada so much! But ah well, that's life. The fun of vacation comes only when you know you truly deserve it and long for it!
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Lost
I feel so lost today. There are so many things I want to do, so many things I'm hoping and praying will go right, and so many things I don't even know what I want the answer to be.
I am so tired. I feel exhausted. Mentally and physically. And depressed. I just want things to be over. Fast. And yet I want to be able to enjoy the last few weeks that I have left here.
Sometimes I feel my head will explode from all these thoughts. I really cannot stop worrying. I cannot leave things and let them work out. I think and re-think each and every scenario and play it out in my head a million times.
I feel so conflicted I don't know what to do. Tell me what to do!
I am so tired. I feel exhausted. Mentally and physically. And depressed. I just want things to be over. Fast. And yet I want to be able to enjoy the last few weeks that I have left here.
Sometimes I feel my head will explode from all these thoughts. I really cannot stop worrying. I cannot leave things and let them work out. I think and re-think each and every scenario and play it out in my head a million times.
I feel so conflicted I don't know what to do. Tell me what to do!
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