Thursday, April 29, 2010
You son of a beach :D
I remember we were once trying to teach this French guy the difference between the pronunciation of "beach" and "bitch". The moment he mastered it, he turns to me, points and goes "BITCH!" :O
The Colbert Report!
An apple a day will keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough.
I'm looking over your shoulder, but only because I've got your back.
Now, there's nothing wrong with being gay. Some of my best friends are going to hell.
You're either gay or you fight it.
[about Charles Darwin] He got totally hammered, woke up in bed next to a monkey and decided he had to come up with a theory to make it all ok.
If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it.
Is this a wand in my pocket or am I just happy to see the new Harry Potter movie?
The safest way to avoid throwing the baby out with the bathwater is to not change the bathwater.
Now, I’ve never been a fan of amphibians. Not only do they strengthen the argument for evolution, they are nature’s fence sitters. Come on, amphibians. Which is it? Water or land? Pick one, we’re at war.
Hey, the ship's in trouble, quick, let's drown the captain!
Reality has become a commodity.
I’ve always been a big fan of beauty. Sure, you can't judge a book by its cover but who wants to have sex with a book?
Take it from me, there's nothing like a job well done, except the quiet enveloping darkness at the bottom of a bottle of Jim Beam after a job done any way at all.
Now, I don't see color. People tell me I'm white and I believe them because police officers call me "sir".
When I decided to run for president, I did not do it for the attention. I did it to fulfill a dream, of being the most popular man in the world.
Hey, alternating current, why don't you just admit you're bi?
Early to bed and early to rise makes you a loser. Let's party all night long.
Warning, I may contain more than a trace amount of nut.
Hey liquid paper, your bottle should say you don't work on computer screens.
I know the knife is supposed to go next to the spoon... but where does the gun go?
Love is a full-length mirror.
The days of atonement are upon us. I apologize for being perfect.
Ignorance is bliss. Oedipus ruined a great sex life by asking too many questions.
If your actions speak louder than words, you're not yelling loud enough.
Fool me once. Shame on You. Fool me twice. Shame on you again. I am shameless!
Love means never having to say you're sorry. That's why I never apologize to my mirror.
Don't cry over spoiled milk. Get angry and punch a cow!
I'm disappointed that my own Catholic Church has decided that capital punishment is wrong. Which is pretty hypocritical if you think about it, because they wouldn't even have a religion if it wasn't for capital punishment.
Equations are the devil's sentences. The worst one is that quadratic equation, an infernal salad of numbers, letters, and symbols.
Washington is dangerously positioned between two Canadas, Canada Canada and California's Canada, Oregon.
Green Day is here to talk about their new album 21st Century Breakdown. I believe it's about Windows Vista.
I float like a butterfly. Sting like a bee. And if that fails, I curl up like an armadillo.
E.R is off the air after 15 seasons. That's what you get with Obama's socialized medicine.
Let's agree to disagree with anybody who disagrees with me.
Hey lady liberty, isn't time you settled down and found yourself a man?
Scotch tape, either change your name or get me drunk. I nearly choked last night.
Here's a brain teaser for ya. Your brain's ugly.
Congratulations to "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" on its 13 Oscar nominations. See, Americans do support torture.
I'm looking over your shoulder, but only because I've got your back.
Now, there's nothing wrong with being gay. Some of my best friends are going to hell.
You're either gay or you fight it.
[about Charles Darwin] He got totally hammered, woke up in bed next to a monkey and decided he had to come up with a theory to make it all ok.
If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it.
Is this a wand in my pocket or am I just happy to see the new Harry Potter movie?
The safest way to avoid throwing the baby out with the bathwater is to not change the bathwater.
Now, I’ve never been a fan of amphibians. Not only do they strengthen the argument for evolution, they are nature’s fence sitters. Come on, amphibians. Which is it? Water or land? Pick one, we’re at war.
Hey, the ship's in trouble, quick, let's drown the captain!
Reality has become a commodity.
I’ve always been a big fan of beauty. Sure, you can't judge a book by its cover but who wants to have sex with a book?
Take it from me, there's nothing like a job well done, except the quiet enveloping darkness at the bottom of a bottle of Jim Beam after a job done any way at all.
Now, I don't see color. People tell me I'm white and I believe them because police officers call me "sir".
When I decided to run for president, I did not do it for the attention. I did it to fulfill a dream, of being the most popular man in the world.
Hey, alternating current, why don't you just admit you're bi?
Early to bed and early to rise makes you a loser. Let's party all night long.
Warning, I may contain more than a trace amount of nut.
Hey liquid paper, your bottle should say you don't work on computer screens.
I know the knife is supposed to go next to the spoon... but where does the gun go?
Love is a full-length mirror.
The days of atonement are upon us. I apologize for being perfect.
Ignorance is bliss. Oedipus ruined a great sex life by asking too many questions.
If your actions speak louder than words, you're not yelling loud enough.
Fool me once. Shame on You. Fool me twice. Shame on you again. I am shameless!
Love means never having to say you're sorry. That's why I never apologize to my mirror.
Don't cry over spoiled milk. Get angry and punch a cow!
I'm disappointed that my own Catholic Church has decided that capital punishment is wrong. Which is pretty hypocritical if you think about it, because they wouldn't even have a religion if it wasn't for capital punishment.
Equations are the devil's sentences. The worst one is that quadratic equation, an infernal salad of numbers, letters, and symbols.
Washington is dangerously positioned between two Canadas, Canada Canada and California's Canada, Oregon.
Green Day is here to talk about their new album 21st Century Breakdown. I believe it's about Windows Vista.
I float like a butterfly. Sting like a bee. And if that fails, I curl up like an armadillo.
E.R is off the air after 15 seasons. That's what you get with Obama's socialized medicine.
Let's agree to disagree with anybody who disagrees with me.
Hey lady liberty, isn't time you settled down and found yourself a man?
Scotch tape, either change your name or get me drunk. I nearly choked last night.
Here's a brain teaser for ya. Your brain's ugly.
Congratulations to "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" on its 13 Oscar nominations. See, Americans do support torture.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
A Kiss To Build A Dream On
Give me a kiss to build a dream on,
And my imagination will thrive upon that kiss.
Sweetheart, I ask no more than this:
A kiss to build a dream on.
Give me a kiss before you leave me,
And my imagination will feed my hungry heart.
Leave me one thing before we part,
A kiss to build a dream on.
When I'm alone with my fancies, I'll be with you,
Weaving romances, making believe they're true.
Give me your lips for just a moment,
And my imagination will make that moment live.
Give me what you alone can give,
A kiss to build a dream on.
And my imagination will thrive upon that kiss.
Sweetheart, I ask no more than this:
A kiss to build a dream on.
Give me a kiss before you leave me,
And my imagination will feed my hungry heart.
Leave me one thing before we part,
A kiss to build a dream on.
When I'm alone with my fancies, I'll be with you,
Weaving romances, making believe they're true.
Give me your lips for just a moment,
And my imagination will make that moment live.
Give me what you alone can give,
A kiss to build a dream on.
Ashes of Dreams You Let Die
Ask yourself from time to time, are you happy?
If not, whatever it is that is making you unhappy, is it worth the pain?
If not, whatever it is that is making you unhappy, is it worth the pain?
Monday, April 26, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
School daze
I remember one day in coaching class, our maths teacher walked in, wrote all these trigonometric identities on the board, told us he would be back in 15 minutes, and we were to memorize all of these by that time. I remember the general groaning that followed this announcement, because we knew he wasn't kidding.
He came back in half an hour. We had tried our best, but of course there was no way we could memorise so many formulae the first time we'd seen them. He erased the board and then started asking one by one. If you couldn't answer correctly, you remained standing, while the next person in the row tried their best to remember what the answer was. I think by the end of that hour, most of the class was standing.
But I still remember those formulae. I still remember that the expansion of cos(A+B) has a negative sign in its expansion, and the last of the sin-cos combinations, sinAsinB has a negative sign in front. So I guess I owe him for that.
I miss the days when I used to enjoy Maths, when I loved the challenge of solving a new question, as quickly as I could.
sin(A + B) = sin A cos B + cos A sin B
sin(A - B) = sin A cos B - cos A sin B
cos(A + B) = cos A cos B - sin A sin B
cos(A - B) = cos A cos B + sin A sin B
tan(A + B) = [ tan A + tan B ] / [ 1 - tan A tan B]
tan(A - B) = [ tan A - tan B ] / [ 1 + tan A tan B]
sin A + sin B = 2 sin [ (A + B) / 2 ] cos [ (A - B) / 2 ]
sin A - sin B = 2 cos [ (A + B) / 2 ] sin [ (A - B) / 2 ]
cos A + cos B = 2 cos [ (A + B) / 2 ] cos [ (A - B) / 2 ]
cos A - cos B = - 2 sin [ (A + B) / 2 ] sin [ (A - B) / 2 ]
2 sin A cos B = sin (A + B) + sin (A - B)
2 cos A sin B = sin (A + B) - sin (A - B)
2 cos A cos B = cos (A + B) + cos (A - B)
2 sin A sin B = - cos (A + B) + cos (A - B)
sin 2A = 2 sin A cos A
cos 2A = cos 2 A - sin 2 A = 2 cos 2 A - 1 = 1 - 2 sin 2 A
sin 3A = 3 sin A - 4 sin 3 A
cos 3A = 4 cos 3 A - 3 cos A
He came back in half an hour. We had tried our best, but of course there was no way we could memorise so many formulae the first time we'd seen them. He erased the board and then started asking one by one. If you couldn't answer correctly, you remained standing, while the next person in the row tried their best to remember what the answer was. I think by the end of that hour, most of the class was standing.
But I still remember those formulae. I still remember that the expansion of cos(A+B) has a negative sign in its expansion, and the last of the sin-cos combinations, sinAsinB has a negative sign in front. So I guess I owe him for that.
I miss the days when I used to enjoy Maths, when I loved the challenge of solving a new question, as quickly as I could.
Last one I swear (at least I think so)
Anatidaephobia. fear that somewhere somehow a duck is watching you
THEY'RE going THERE with THEIR friends. It's called grammar, use it.
I don't let my leg hang off the bed, I'm scared a monster will grab it
I shampoo really fast because something will get me while my eyes are close
Nothing to do so I think Ill eat everything in my house
paper beats rock? ok,i'll throw a rock at u & u defend urseself with paper
IT WASN'T ME!!!!! Oh that....... yes that was me
Yay backwards is Yay. Yay.
When I was your age, Pluto was a planet.
Petition for Steve Bucknor to retire from Umpiring at the earliest
Never ask a women her age, Man his Salary And a Student hiz marks. it hurts
Dost Fail ho Jaye to dhukh hota hai,Top maare To aur b jyada dhukh hota hai
Who is shawty? Apparently she has a lot of rapper boyfriends.
Anyone WhO tYpEs LiKe ThIs needs a punch in the face
Let's Quit College and Go to Hogwarts
After Harry Potter Seven Comes Out I Won't Have Anything To Live For
Im a good enough person to forgive you, but not stupid enough to trust you
I go deaf when im texting
"Who are you on the phone with?" "My drug dealer, mom."
When I was young our phones didn't have internet, they had SNAKE!
Staying up late with your best friend talking aimlessly about everything.
The nervous feeling you get when you press the send button on a risky text.
I Don't Actually Care- It's Just Fun To Argue With You
Smiling is always easier than explaining why u are sad...
Woah! What The Hell Are You Doing In My Dream? GET OUT!
When I Die, Someone Should Keep Updating My Status To Freak Out People
DEAR CUPID, WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT YOUR AIM.
Its funny how sitting "boy girl boy girl" used to be a punishment...
"Don't see me, don't see me, don't see me"... "HEYYY!!!" ... "f*ck"
OH CRAP . you just said something really sweet, now what do I say ?
Face-book is slowly but surely ruining my education
Tom, Its Been 30 Years ... Your Not Going To Eat Jerry
Seriously, life is better when you decide you don't care
Everything ELSE becomes so much more interesting during exams ...
Before starting any chapter, I count the number of pages !
I'm double majoring in Napping and Facebook with a minor in Procrastination
Physics doesn't exist, it's all gnomes
I don't no why, you just have one of those faces id like to punch
"PUT THAT PEN DOWN!" Alright, Miss, It's A Pen, Not A Gun.
If FaceB0ok wAs a sUbject .. mY parENts wuddA beEn s0 proUd *blush blush
During Vacations We Really Miss Oxford and Sometimes Want To Cry Because We Miss it So Much
University has robbed me of the ability to entertain myself.
I correct your bad grammar in my head while you're speaking
Dear grades, get well soon.
THEY'RE going THERE with THEIR friends. It's called grammar, use it.
I don't let my leg hang off the bed, I'm scared a monster will grab it
I shampoo really fast because something will get me while my eyes are close
Nothing to do so I think Ill eat everything in my house
paper beats rock? ok,i'll throw a rock at u & u defend urseself with paper
IT WASN'T ME!!!!! Oh that....... yes that was me
Yay backwards is Yay. Yay.
When I was your age, Pluto was a planet.
Petition for Steve Bucknor to retire from Umpiring at the earliest
Never ask a women her age, Man his Salary And a Student hiz marks. it hurts
Dost Fail ho Jaye to dhukh hota hai,Top maare To aur b jyada dhukh hota hai
Who is shawty? Apparently she has a lot of rapper boyfriends.
Anyone WhO tYpEs LiKe ThIs needs a punch in the face
Let's Quit College and Go to Hogwarts
After Harry Potter Seven Comes Out I Won't Have Anything To Live For
Im a good enough person to forgive you, but not stupid enough to trust you
I go deaf when im texting
"Who are you on the phone with?" "My drug dealer, mom."
When I was young our phones didn't have internet, they had SNAKE!
Staying up late with your best friend talking aimlessly about everything.
The nervous feeling you get when you press the send button on a risky text.
I Don't Actually Care- It's Just Fun To Argue With You
Smiling is always easier than explaining why u are sad...
Woah! What The Hell Are You Doing In My Dream? GET OUT!
When I Die, Someone Should Keep Updating My Status To Freak Out People
DEAR CUPID, WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT YOUR AIM.
Its funny how sitting "boy girl boy girl" used to be a punishment...
"Don't see me, don't see me, don't see me"... "HEYYY!!!" ... "f*ck"
OH CRAP . you just said something really sweet, now what do I say ?
Face-book is slowly but surely ruining my education
Tom, Its Been 30 Years ... Your Not Going To Eat Jerry
Seriously, life is better when you decide you don't care
Everything ELSE becomes so much more interesting during exams ...
Before starting any chapter, I count the number of pages !
I'm double majoring in Napping and Facebook with a minor in Procrastination
Physics doesn't exist, it's all gnomes
I don't no why, you just have one of those faces id like to punch
"PUT THAT PEN DOWN!" Alright, Miss, It's A Pen, Not A Gun.
If FaceB0ok wAs a sUbject .. mY parENts wuddA beEn s0 proUd *blush blush
During Vacations We Really Miss Oxford and Sometimes Want To Cry Because We Miss it So Much
University has robbed me of the ability to entertain myself.
I correct your bad grammar in my head while you're speaking
Dear grades, get well soon.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
The 5 stages of the week leading up to exams
Denial: that you have exams and should study;
Anger: why the f#$@ should I study this meaningless crap;
Bargaining: Ok I will watch only 2 episodes of this show and then study;
Depression: Shit there is sooo much left to do, why didn't I study before!;
Acceptance: You are doomed no matter what.
Anger: why the f#$@ should I study this meaningless crap;
Bargaining: Ok I will watch only 2 episodes of this show and then study;
Depression: Shit there is sooo much left to do, why didn't I study before!;
Acceptance: You are doomed no matter what.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
An affair.
A story is so perfect in your mind, every little detail sorted out, a warm fuzzy feeling in your chest. But once you pen it down, it becomes harsh cold reality, not nearly as endearing or pleasing to the ear.
"Oh my God! I'm so sorry! It really is my fault. I'm just so clumsy. I was talking on the phone and I just didn't realize you were coming from the side. So sorry for spilling that drink on you.."
"It.. it's ok, never mind. I'll just, err, go and change upstairs."
"Oh you're staying here? Me too! My name's Patrick Jane."
"Hi, I'm Miranda."
"Hi it's a pleasure to meet you. Though I do wish I wasn't introducing myself right after I had ruined that beautiful dress of yours. Let me pay for the dry cleaning. Here's my card. Just forward the bill to my address, I'll take care of it."
"Really, there's no need for that."
"Well, let me buy you a drink then. It's the least I can do. After you've changed of course."
"I guess a drink would be fine."
"Great. I'll be at the bar."
"Sure."
As she changed back in her hotel room upstairs and tried to wash the stain out of her dress, she wondered about this man she had just bumped into. He definitely seemed charming. A womanizer? Maybe not. But certainly one who knew his way around women. He had that magnetism, that something in his eye which attracted people to him and made him hard to ignore. She'd seen the kind before.
To be continued...
"Oh my God! I'm so sorry! It really is my fault. I'm just so clumsy. I was talking on the phone and I just didn't realize you were coming from the side. So sorry for spilling that drink on you.."
"It.. it's ok, never mind. I'll just, err, go and change upstairs."
"Oh you're staying here? Me too! My name's Patrick Jane."
"Hi, I'm Miranda."
"Hi it's a pleasure to meet you. Though I do wish I wasn't introducing myself right after I had ruined that beautiful dress of yours. Let me pay for the dry cleaning. Here's my card. Just forward the bill to my address, I'll take care of it."
"Really, there's no need for that."
"Well, let me buy you a drink then. It's the least I can do. After you've changed of course."
"I guess a drink would be fine."
"Great. I'll be at the bar."
"Sure."
As she changed back in her hotel room upstairs and tried to wash the stain out of her dress, she wondered about this man she had just bumped into. He definitely seemed charming. A womanizer? Maybe not. But certainly one who knew his way around women. He had that magnetism, that something in his eye which attracted people to him and made him hard to ignore. She'd seen the kind before.
To be continued...
Facebook groups I adore 3
Yay Facebook :)
If this annoys you, then move on to the next post. But this is a phase which will apparently take some getting over. I now go to people's profiles just to check what kind of groups they joined :)
I will never forgive the apple that fell on Newton's head ....
Primary School A+, High School B+, University "How many marks do I need to pass?"
God, if you give back M. Jackson, I'll give you Justin Bieber & Miley Cyrus.
Saying "no thankyou" to a biscuit (just to be polite) and then regreting it
No, all my statuses aren't about you, you just have a guilty conscience.
NO. my status is from a song. its not about you. get over yourself.
When someone has a nickname, calling them by their real name sounds weird.
I look at you and motherfuckingassholeihopeyoufuckingdie comes to my mind.
"Where are you going?" "Washroom..." "To do what?" TO PLAY BASKETBALL.
do you really have to pout your lips in ALL YOUR PICTURES?
You're angry at me for that ? Thats cool, just let me know when you grow up
Mutual hatred of one person really brings people together :)
...ahem-ahem!! i cough when i wanna tease sum1..
B.O.D.M.A.S= Bored. Of. Doing. Maths. At. School.
Don't you just hate it when the radio doesn't tell you who sang that song.
You're not drunk, you've had one drink, so stop pretending.
Why dont the Cullens attack Bella when she's on her period? (OMFG :O)
Falling asleep on your couch and waking up in bed when you were little.
If I open this bag really slow no one will hear it...CRUSHSHSHI DKFDSJ IVJ
Alarm Clocks. Because every morning should begin with a heart attack.
I don't care who's getting married. Where's the FOOD!?
Kicking a stone along a street, then going out of your way to kick it again
That one annoying couple who always breaks up and gets back together!
I Hate It When Parents Get Serious About Something Funny You Tell Them
Yeah, you go ahead and lie to make ME look bad. Karma my friend, karma.
When I was a kid if you ran up the slide and made it, you were so cool
i love text books with the answers in the back
If sleep is important then why does school start so early?!?
i trip on flat surfaces, push doors tht say pull, and laugh at lame jokes
I Have Trouble Writing after Summer Vacation
She's so fake. If you look behind her neck, I bet it says "Made In China"
Something breaks,I hide it.Then act suprised when someone finds it again :O
Money can't buy happiness... But I'd rather cry in a Ferrari
If I didn't answer the phone the 1st time, or the 8th time, STOP CALLING!
If you don't want a sarcastic answer, then don't ask a stupid question
Mom and Dad...when I lie to you, its for your own good
A girl kisses 2 guys - She's a SLUT; A boy bangs 5 girls - He's a LEGEND..
i know my family so well i can tell which of them is coming up the stairs
When i'm bored, i tend to eat even though i'm not hungry.
Before I Go To Sleep, I Start Imagining Stuff That I Would Like To Happen
Okay, I will get out of the bed in 10 seconds. 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-9-9-9..
"Can u do me a favor?"..wat "can u go upstairs and-".. no
Wow! Have you had your hair cut?....No. It magically fell off idiot.
A Lion would never cheat on his wife.. but a Tiger wood.
me? Dirty minded?! Nahh. I like to call it imaginative (:
iPOD, iPhone, iTouch..iPAD..what's next? iTampon?
Wow I dropped my phone like 5 times today…and it's still alive!
If I were an enzyme i would be DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes.
0RKUT IS DEAD. FACEB00K MURDERED IT!
I forgot your name, so i'm waiting for somebody to say it.
I've probably learned more from Google than I have from school -.-
Yeah, Mom, All of Our Visitors Are TOTALLY Gonna Check How Clean My Room Is
OMG this is the most DISGUSTING thing I've ever tasted... here, try it.
What Starts With F and ends in UCK? FIRETRUCK!
Parents Find It Hard To Put 1 Kid To sleep Yet The Teacher Can Put All 30.
I don't care if it's 4AM, I don't consider it tomorrow until i wake up.
If your relationship is "complicated", don't kid yourself, you're single.
If this annoys you, then move on to the next post. But this is a phase which will apparently take some getting over. I now go to people's profiles just to check what kind of groups they joined :)
I will never forgive the apple that fell on Newton's head ....
Primary School A+, High School B+, University "How many marks do I need to pass?"
God, if you give back M. Jackson, I'll give you Justin Bieber & Miley Cyrus.
Saying "no thankyou" to a biscuit (just to be polite) and then regreting it
No, all my statuses aren't about you, you just have a guilty conscience.
NO. my status is from a song. its not about you. get over yourself.
When someone has a nickname, calling them by their real name sounds weird.
I look at you and motherfuckingassholeihopeyoufuckingdie comes to my mind.
"Where are you going?" "Washroom..." "To do what?" TO PLAY BASKETBALL.
do you really have to pout your lips in ALL YOUR PICTURES?
You're angry at me for that ? Thats cool, just let me know when you grow up
Mutual hatred of one person really brings people together :)
...ahem-ahem!! i cough when i wanna tease sum1..
B.O.D.M.A.S= Bored. Of. Doing. Maths. At. School.
Don't you just hate it when the radio doesn't tell you who sang that song.
You're not drunk, you've had one drink, so stop pretending.
Why dont the Cullens attack Bella when she's on her period? (OMFG :O)
Falling asleep on your couch and waking up in bed when you were little.
If I open this bag really slow no one will hear it...CRUSHSHSHI DKFDSJ IVJ
Alarm Clocks. Because every morning should begin with a heart attack.
I don't care who's getting married. Where's the FOOD!?
Kicking a stone along a street, then going out of your way to kick it again
That one annoying couple who always breaks up and gets back together!
I Hate It When Parents Get Serious About Something Funny You Tell Them
Yeah, you go ahead and lie to make ME look bad. Karma my friend, karma.
When I was a kid if you ran up the slide and made it, you were so cool
i love text books with the answers in the back
If sleep is important then why does school start so early?!?
i trip on flat surfaces, push doors tht say pull, and laugh at lame jokes
I Have Trouble Writing after Summer Vacation
She's so fake. If you look behind her neck, I bet it says "Made In China"
Something breaks,I hide it.Then act suprised when someone finds it again :O
Money can't buy happiness... But I'd rather cry in a Ferrari
If I didn't answer the phone the 1st time, or the 8th time, STOP CALLING!
If you don't want a sarcastic answer, then don't ask a stupid question
Mom and Dad...when I lie to you, its for your own good
A girl kisses 2 guys - She's a SLUT; A boy bangs 5 girls - He's a LEGEND..
i know my family so well i can tell which of them is coming up the stairs
When i'm bored, i tend to eat even though i'm not hungry.
Before I Go To Sleep, I Start Imagining Stuff That I Would Like To Happen
Okay, I will get out of the bed in 10 seconds. 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-9-9-9..
"Can u do me a favor?"..wat "can u go upstairs and-".. no
Wow! Have you had your hair cut?....No. It magically fell off idiot.
A Lion would never cheat on his wife.. but a Tiger wood.
me? Dirty minded?! Nahh. I like to call it imaginative (:
iPOD, iPhone, iTouch..iPAD..what's next? iTampon?
Wow I dropped my phone like 5 times today…and it's still alive!
If I were an enzyme i would be DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes.
0RKUT IS DEAD. FACEB00K MURDERED IT!
I forgot your name, so i'm waiting for somebody to say it.
I've probably learned more from Google than I have from school -.-
Yeah, Mom, All of Our Visitors Are TOTALLY Gonna Check How Clean My Room Is
OMG this is the most DISGUSTING thing I've ever tasted... here, try it.
What Starts With F and ends in UCK? FIRETRUCK!
Parents Find It Hard To Put 1 Kid To sleep Yet The Teacher Can Put All 30.
I don't care if it's 4AM, I don't consider it tomorrow until i wake up.
If your relationship is "complicated", don't kid yourself, you're single.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
My vanity list
Seen whole:
Friends
Joey
24
The O.C.
Sex and the City
That 70’s Show
So You Think You Can Dance
Dirty Sexy Money
Army Wives
Frasier (almost done)
Always updated:
How I Met Your Mother
Grey's Anatomy
Private Practice
One tree hill
Greek
Gossip Girl
The Big Bang Theory
The Vampire Diaries
Cougar Town
The Mentalist (currently watching)
Haven't seen in a while:
Scrubs
House
Seinfeld
Prisonbreak
Lost
Heroes
Boston Legal
Desperate Housewives
Monk
Saw a bit:
Bones
90210
Beverly Hills 90210
Brothers & Sisters
Whose Line Is It Anyway
Band of Brothers
And of course the ones randomly caught on TV:
America's Next Top Model
Project Runway
American Idol
The Apprentice
The Amazing Race
The Biggest Loser
Ghost Whisperer
My Name is Earl
Survivor
Two and a Half Men
Ugly Betty
Friends
Joey
24
The O.C.
Sex and the City
That 70’s Show
So You Think You Can Dance
Dirty Sexy Money
Army Wives
Frasier (almost done)
Always updated:
How I Met Your Mother
Grey's Anatomy
Private Practice
One tree hill
Greek
Gossip Girl
The Big Bang Theory
The Vampire Diaries
Cougar Town
The Mentalist (currently watching)
Haven't seen in a while:
Scrubs
House
Seinfeld
Prisonbreak
Lost
Heroes
Boston Legal
Desperate Housewives
Monk
Saw a bit:
Bones
90210
Beverly Hills 90210
Brothers & Sisters
Whose Line Is It Anyway
Band of Brothers
And of course the ones randomly caught on TV:
America's Next Top Model
Project Runway
American Idol
The Apprentice
The Amazing Race
The Biggest Loser
Ghost Whisperer
My Name is Earl
Survivor
Two and a Half Men
Ugly Betty
rawr
From The Mentalist:
Cho: I'm not at liberty to disclose that.
Mr. Wolcutt: Are you sure about that? I can make one phone call and your career is toast.
Cho: (decidedly unimpressed) That's impressive. The best I can get with one call is a pizza.
Love is for guys who can't get laid.
This is solely for Ris Low, no disrespect meant to anyone: It's called Bipolar because you're two much to bear :P
Looking back is no way to move forward.
Cho: I'm not at liberty to disclose that.
Mr. Wolcutt: Are you sure about that? I can make one phone call and your career is toast.
Cho: (decidedly unimpressed) That's impressive. The best I can get with one call is a pizza.
Love is for guys who can't get laid.
This is solely for Ris Low, no disrespect meant to anyone: It's called Bipolar because you're two much to bear :P
Looking back is no way to move forward.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Facebook groups I adore 2
There seem to be too many I like:
How do all these groups know about the weird little things I do ??
I love it when someone you miss randomly texts you :)
i think people with dimples are cute
i acted like it didnt bother me, but really, i think about it all the time.
I always wonder who would cry if I died.
Trying to accomplish a task before the microwave reaches 00:00
call me mr. flintstone i can make your bed rock(;
I'm done trying. If you want me in your life, let me know. Bye.
I dont remember when I last visited orkut!!!
'MUM! I'm hungry.' 'Have some fruit.' 'Okay, I'm not hungry anymore.'
Girls have no idea how much being kicked in the balls ACTUALLY Hurts
I have a tendency to laugh at inappropriate times
Volchok killed Marissa? That sucks -- but . . . have you seen his abs?
Seth. Ryan. Volchok. I want.
My Hair Straightener Changed My Life
I WANNA PLAY A MASSIVE HIDE AND SEEK GAME IN IKEA!!!
When i was a kid, i hated going to bed. Now i cherish every hour of sleep.
Join if you have died from a chainletter
Good Grammar Is Hot
CAN YOU LIKE, WALK A LITTLE FASTER OR GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY?!
excuse me...., Excuse me......, Excuse Me... O MY GOD MOVE!!!! thank you :]
Thank you Pakistan for taking Sania Mirza, Now Please take Rakhi Sawant also :)
EXAMS SHUD BE CANCELLED DUE TO GENERAL LACK OF INTEREST..:P:P:P:P.
THANK GOD IM BROWN...There is always Option 2: Arranged Marriage!
Alcohol should be made free to all undergrads
I'm pissed off that my prime minister's getting S$3.1 million this year
I hate it when weird aunties won`t stop staring at you -.-
I Know Your Reading My Inbox While "Playing" With My Phone.
"MUM I STILL CAN'T FIND IT" "It's right infront of you" "No its not... oh."
I wish money would have sex in my pocket and multiply.
Old enough to know its a bad idea, young enough not to care
When I Was Younger, I Put My Face Close to the Fan to Hear My Robot Voice
uys should shave their armpits (ITS NOT GAY, ITS ABOUT CLEANLINESS).
i love sitting on the kitchen slab, while my mum is Cooking.
Boys who give you their jacket when they think your cold :)
thinking if u raise your cell phone 6 inches in the air u will get service
Letting the phone ring so the person doesn't know you're ignoring them
Hugs where you get picked up into the air.
I type things into Google to see if I spelled them correctly.
Making up a dream before you go sleep
Yes, I do check my phone randomly, just in case I missed the vibrating.
biggest lie ever: "i have read and agree to the terms of use" ✔
oh great now that song's stuck in my head all day and i only know 1 line.
F U C K THIS, F U C K THAT, F U C K OFF, F U C K YOU
DAMN IT I LIKED THAT DREAM....IM GOING BACK TO SLEEP!!!
Lyrics that explain exactly how you feel
HURRY UP AND PASS OUT THE TEST BEFORE I FORGET EVERYTHING!
Thats funny. You're funny. I like you.
OH SHUT UP!!! I Didnt Hit You That Hard
Smiling like an idiot when you receive a cute text.
You're a P.E teacher, why are you fat?
People who look cute together, should be together :)
Once I turn off all the lights in my basement i run the f**k out of there
I have never talked to you in my life, but I like your status :)
"Hey".. 2 hours later.. "Hey".. No its to late i dont wanna talk to you now
Im quite aware you are staring at me, but im pretending not to notice
Hate it when you read something you dont want to know, and your heart sinks
''Your homework is to read these pages.'' YESSS! No homework!!!
"BRB"... IM NOT REALLY GOING ANYWHERE, BUT NEITHER IS THIS CONVERSATION.
Trying to delete useless characters in a text to make it under 160.
Pulling out your phone when your alone in public to not look like a loner
I remember when "party" meant birthday party, not drunken whore-fest.
Alcohol Increases My Ability to Speak a Foreign Language.
Counting how many hours of sleep I will get right before I go to bed.
Texting someone to say that you are outside their house instead of knocking
Those who criticize our generation, forget who raised it.
It's almost 2015, WHERE are the flying cars and hoverboards?!
DAMN YOU FACEBOOK, I'M TRYING TO REVISE HERE!!!!
p.s I wanna marry Facebook groups, I love so many of them!!
How do all these groups know about the weird little things I do ??
I love it when someone you miss randomly texts you :)
i think people with dimples are cute
i acted like it didnt bother me, but really, i think about it all the time.
I always wonder who would cry if I died.
Trying to accomplish a task before the microwave reaches 00:00
call me mr. flintstone i can make your bed rock(;
I'm done trying. If you want me in your life, let me know. Bye.
I dont remember when I last visited orkut!!!
'MUM! I'm hungry.' 'Have some fruit.' 'Okay, I'm not hungry anymore.'
Girls have no idea how much being kicked in the balls ACTUALLY Hurts
I have a tendency to laugh at inappropriate times
Volchok killed Marissa? That sucks -- but . . . have you seen his abs?
Seth. Ryan. Volchok. I want.
My Hair Straightener Changed My Life
I WANNA PLAY A MASSIVE HIDE AND SEEK GAME IN IKEA!!!
When i was a kid, i hated going to bed. Now i cherish every hour of sleep.
Join if you have died from a chainletter
Good Grammar Is Hot
CAN YOU LIKE, WALK A LITTLE FASTER OR GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY?!
excuse me...., Excuse me......, Excuse Me... O MY GOD MOVE!!!! thank you :]
Thank you Pakistan for taking Sania Mirza, Now Please take Rakhi Sawant also :)
EXAMS SHUD BE CANCELLED DUE TO GENERAL LACK OF INTEREST..:P:P:P:P.
THANK GOD IM BROWN...There is always Option 2: Arranged Marriage!
Alcohol should be made free to all undergrads
I'm pissed off that my prime minister's getting S$3.1 million this year
I hate it when weird aunties won`t stop staring at you -.-
I Know Your Reading My Inbox While "Playing" With My Phone.
"MUM I STILL CAN'T FIND IT" "It's right infront of you" "No its not... oh."
I wish money would have sex in my pocket and multiply.
Old enough to know its a bad idea, young enough not to care
When I Was Younger, I Put My Face Close to the Fan to Hear My Robot Voice
uys should shave their armpits (ITS NOT GAY, ITS ABOUT CLEANLINESS).
i love sitting on the kitchen slab, while my mum is Cooking.
Boys who give you their jacket when they think your cold :)
thinking if u raise your cell phone 6 inches in the air u will get service
Letting the phone ring so the person doesn't know you're ignoring them
Hugs where you get picked up into the air.
I type things into Google to see if I spelled them correctly.
Making up a dream before you go sleep
Yes, I do check my phone randomly, just in case I missed the vibrating.
biggest lie ever: "i have read and agree to the terms of use" ✔
oh great now that song's stuck in my head all day and i only know 1 line.
F U C K THIS, F U C K THAT, F U C K OFF, F U C K YOU
DAMN IT I LIKED THAT DREAM....IM GOING BACK TO SLEEP!!!
Lyrics that explain exactly how you feel
HURRY UP AND PASS OUT THE TEST BEFORE I FORGET EVERYTHING!
Thats funny. You're funny. I like you.
OH SHUT UP!!! I Didnt Hit You That Hard
Smiling like an idiot when you receive a cute text.
You're a P.E teacher, why are you fat?
People who look cute together, should be together :)
Once I turn off all the lights in my basement i run the f**k out of there
I have never talked to you in my life, but I like your status :)
"Hey".. 2 hours later.. "Hey".. No its to late i dont wanna talk to you now
Im quite aware you are staring at me, but im pretending not to notice
Hate it when you read something you dont want to know, and your heart sinks
''Your homework is to read these pages.'' YESSS! No homework!!!
"BRB"... IM NOT REALLY GOING ANYWHERE, BUT NEITHER IS THIS CONVERSATION.
Trying to delete useless characters in a text to make it under 160.
Pulling out your phone when your alone in public to not look like a loner
I remember when "party" meant birthday party, not drunken whore-fest.
Alcohol Increases My Ability to Speak a Foreign Language.
Counting how many hours of sleep I will get right before I go to bed.
Texting someone to say that you are outside their house instead of knocking
Those who criticize our generation, forget who raised it.
It's almost 2015, WHERE are the flying cars and hoverboards?!
DAMN YOU FACEBOOK, I'M TRYING TO REVISE HERE!!!!
p.s I wanna marry Facebook groups, I love so many of them!!
Dreams really do come true..
The best thing about dreams is that fleeting moment, when you are torn between being asleep and awake, when you don't know the difference between reality and fantasy, when for just that one moment, you feel with your entire soul that the dream is a reality, and it really did happen.
Of course, then you wake up and that dream evaporates. But in that tiny moment, you can re-live a moment that you thought you had lost forever. That is the power of dreams.
There should be fireworks, at least, when a dream dies.
Better never to have met you in my dream than to wake and reach for hands that are not there.
He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.
She laughs at my dreams, but I dream about her laughter.
When your dreams turn to dust, vacuum.
Dreams do come true. Without that possibility, nature would not incite us to have them.
Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.
Of course, then you wake up and that dream evaporates. But in that tiny moment, you can re-live a moment that you thought you had lost forever. That is the power of dreams.
There should be fireworks, at least, when a dream dies.
Better never to have met you in my dream than to wake and reach for hands that are not there.
He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.
She laughs at my dreams, but I dream about her laughter.
When your dreams turn to dust, vacuum.
Dreams do come true. Without that possibility, nature would not incite us to have them.
Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Frasier
What's your generation gonna do when we're all gone and there's no one left to blame.
If I get any hotter, I'll set off the sprinklers.
With one hand, the past moves us forward. And with the other it holds us back.
Why should 2 people be happy when 4 can be ecstatic? - Niles on his plan to break up Daphne and his lawyer
If my life gets any worse, I'm phoning hell to ask about their exchange programme.
But if less is more, imagine how much more more would be.
I'd dump her like radioactive waste.
You know it's funny, you get used to having something in your life. It's part of your day, [you] just take it for granted. Then suddenly it's gone and you realize how much it meant to ya.
Have you been listening to me? Well, I tried not to but some of it still got through.
Are you okay? I was afraid with all that sucking up, you might have burst a lung.
I hope you had the presence of mind to bring the presents on mine.
If I get any hotter, I'll set off the sprinklers.
With one hand, the past moves us forward. And with the other it holds us back.
Why should 2 people be happy when 4 can be ecstatic? - Niles on his plan to break up Daphne and his lawyer
If my life gets any worse, I'm phoning hell to ask about their exchange programme.
But if less is more, imagine how much more more would be.
I'd dump her like radioactive waste.
You know it's funny, you get used to having something in your life. It's part of your day, [you] just take it for granted. Then suddenly it's gone and you realize how much it meant to ya.
Have you been listening to me? Well, I tried not to but some of it still got through.
Are you okay? I was afraid with all that sucking up, you might have burst a lung.
I hope you had the presence of mind to bring the presents on mine.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
In the darkness, there is light.
Banking On Change (12 min version) from Pilgrim Films on Vimeo.
Last year, during my RBI crap internship, I saw the paperwork for something like this, the infrastructure that was coming up. Grameen Vikas and encouragement of villagers to take loans to start group work, so they can help each other out. And making them into a group also ensures that they pay back. Apparently, the pay back rate for loans taken by people in rural areas is much higher than the one in urban areas.
Zokes are goood.
A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his community. All went well until he came to one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he knocked several times. Finally, he took out his card, wrote on the back "Revelation 3: 20" and stuck it in the door.
The next day, as he was counting the offering he found his card in the collection plate. Below his message was a notation "Genesis 3: 10." Upon opening his Bible to the passage he let out a roar of laughter.
Revelation 3: 20 reads: (Pastors note) "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If any man hear my voice, and opens the door, I will come into him, and will dine with him, and he with me."
Genesis 3: 10 reads: "And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked."
A proof that men have better friends:
A woman didn't come home one night. Next morning she told her husband she had slept over at a friends house. Husband calls her 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.
Man didn't come home one night. Next morning he says he slept over at a friends house. Wife calls his 10 best friends. Eight confirmed that he slept over and two said he was still there.
A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?"
The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made ..."
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.
The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?"
The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his!"
Ben invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful Ben's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between Ben and his roommate and this only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Ben and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Ben volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Allison and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Allison came to Ben and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. "You don't suppose she took it, do you?"
Ben said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."
So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."
Several days later, Ben received a letter from his mother which read:
"Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Allison, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Allison. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom"
The next day, as he was counting the offering he found his card in the collection plate. Below his message was a notation "Genesis 3: 10." Upon opening his Bible to the passage he let out a roar of laughter.
Revelation 3: 20 reads: (Pastors note) "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If any man hear my voice, and opens the door, I will come into him, and will dine with him, and he with me."
Genesis 3: 10 reads: "And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked."
A proof that men have better friends:
A woman didn't come home one night. Next morning she told her husband she had slept over at a friends house. Husband calls her 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.
Man didn't come home one night. Next morning he says he slept over at a friends house. Wife calls his 10 best friends. Eight confirmed that he slept over and two said he was still there.
A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?"
The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made ..."
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.
The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?"
The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his!"
Ben invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful Ben's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between Ben and his roommate and this only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Ben and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Ben volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Allison and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Allison came to Ben and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. "You don't suppose she took it, do you?"
Ben said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."
So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."
Several days later, Ben received a letter from his mother which read:
"Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Allison, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Allison. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom"
Friday, April 16, 2010
Glitter In The Air
Have you ever fed a lover with just your hands?
Close your eyes and trust it, just trust it
Have you ever thrown a fist full of glitter in the air?
Have you ever looked fear in the face
And said I just don't care?
It's only half past the point of no return
The tip of the iceberg, the sun before the burn
The thunder before lightning, the breath before the phrase
Have you ever felt this way?
Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone?
Your whole life waiting on the ring to prove you're not alone
Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry?
Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside?
It's only half past the point of oblivion
The hourglass on the table, the walk before the run
The breath before the kiss and the fear before the flames
Have you ever felt this way?
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
There you are, sitting in the garden
Clutching my coffee, calling me sugar
You called me sugar
Have you ever wished for an endless night?
Lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight
Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself
Will it ever get better than tonight? Tonight
Close your eyes and trust it, just trust it
Have you ever thrown a fist full of glitter in the air?
Have you ever looked fear in the face
And said I just don't care?
It's only half past the point of no return
The tip of the iceberg, the sun before the burn
The thunder before lightning, the breath before the phrase
Have you ever felt this way?
Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone?
Your whole life waiting on the ring to prove you're not alone
Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry?
Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside?
It's only half past the point of oblivion
The hourglass on the table, the walk before the run
The breath before the kiss and the fear before the flames
Have you ever felt this way?
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
There you are, sitting in the garden
Clutching my coffee, calling me sugar
You called me sugar
Have you ever wished for an endless night?
Lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight
Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself
Will it ever get better than tonight? Tonight
25 FUN Things To Do In An Elevator
1. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
2. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
3. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
4. Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.
5. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
6. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
7. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
8. Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
9. Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.
10. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.
11. Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
12. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
13. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
14. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"
15. Swat at flies that don't exist.
16. Tell people that you can see their aura.
17. Call out, "Group Hug!" and then enforce it.
18. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
19. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
20. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
21. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
22. Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passergers.
23. Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
24. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
25. Stare, grinning.
Courtesy: Facebook
2. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
3. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
4. Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.
5. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
6. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
7. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
8. Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
9. Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.
10. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.
11. Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
12. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
13. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
14. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"
15. Swat at flies that don't exist.
16. Tell people that you can see their aura.
17. Call out, "Group Hug!" and then enforce it.
18. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
19. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
20. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
21. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
22. Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passergers.
23. Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
24. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
25. Stare, grinning.
Courtesy: Facebook
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Kismat konnection
Have you ever been grateful for missing a bus?
Well, I was today.
As I saw the A2 curve out from the bus terminal as I was walking towards it, I cursed under my breath. Now I would have to wait 10-15 minutes before the next one came, or take an A1, and sit in it for 25 minutes.
And then there was an almighty screech and I literally saw the wheels of the bus move backward as the giant bus lurched forward, showing a very practical demonstration of Newton's First Law of Motion.
And from below the bus could be seen the car on the other side, and something had broken off from its front part and fallen on the road. I bet the bus didn't even get a scratch.
As the bus driver tried to decide whether or not he should continue going, and the lone passenger in the bus tried to figure out if he should/could get off the bus, I sat there smiling to myself, "thank God I missed that bus".
Well, I was today.
As I saw the A2 curve out from the bus terminal as I was walking towards it, I cursed under my breath. Now I would have to wait 10-15 minutes before the next one came, or take an A1, and sit in it for 25 minutes.
And then there was an almighty screech and I literally saw the wheels of the bus move backward as the giant bus lurched forward, showing a very practical demonstration of Newton's First Law of Motion.
And from below the bus could be seen the car on the other side, and something had broken off from its front part and fallen on the road. I bet the bus didn't even get a scratch.
As the bus driver tried to decide whether or not he should continue going, and the lone passenger in the bus tried to figure out if he should/could get off the bus, I sat there smiling to myself, "thank God I missed that bus".
Lonesome
"Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them."
— Jodi Picoult
Interesting thought. Not sure I agree.
— Jodi Picoult
Interesting thought. Not sure I agree.
Nerd Quotes
Found these on Scratch forums as people's signatures. Be amused.
Everything is better when you add a little cheddar, because when you add cheese, your life is at ease.
Eat others as you would like to be eaten.
Screw the rules, I have green hair!
Supporter Of Half-Clan Cats (whatever that means)
You don't have to be mad to work on Panther, but it helps (Panther is the suggested "big brother" of Scratch, hopefully offering you a more advanced version of Scratch, based on Scratch, a simple programming language developed at MIT.)
Everything is better when you add a little cheddar, because when you add cheese, your life is at ease.
Eat others as you would like to be eaten.
Screw the rules, I have green hair!
Supporter Of Half-Clan Cats (whatever that means)
You don't have to be mad to work on Panther, but it helps (Panther is the suggested "big brother" of Scratch, hopefully offering you a more advanced version of Scratch, based on Scratch, a simple programming language developed at MIT.)
Definitions made easy
Epiphany - a *ting* moment
The "i" revolution - No, it is not a narcissistic movement. It is the tendency to write any sentence beginning in I as:
iLike
iBored
iHungry
iDontCare
Lah Lah Land - Singapore
The "i" revolution - No, it is not a narcissistic movement. It is the tendency to write any sentence beginning in I as:
iLike
iBored
iHungry
iDontCare
Lah Lah Land - Singapore
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
The Mentalist
Shrink when giving the sleeping pills prescription:
Dr. Linus Wagner: Everything you told me is total fiction, isn't it?
Patrick Jane: Yes.
Dr. Linus Wagner: Why? I can tell you're in real pain. Why not tell the truth?
Patrick Jane: The truth is mine.
Dr. Linus Wagner: I hear ya.
Patrick Jane: Thank you.
Dr. Linus Wagner: Everything you told me is total fiction, isn't it?
Patrick Jane: Yes.
Dr. Linus Wagner: Why? I can tell you're in real pain. Why not tell the truth?
Patrick Jane: The truth is mine.
Dr. Linus Wagner: I hear ya.
Patrick Jane: Thank you.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Horizon
Check out these links:
Traveling with someone is a unique way of getting to know them. You learn so many things about them in such a short period of time: their quirks, their likes and dislikes, what makes them happy, how they like to spend their spare time, how they plan, how much they value punctuality.
This is some random person's blog, hope they don't mind me putting up the link:
http://seejy.wordpress.com/2010/04/06/william-aitch-from-stranger-to-friend/
I like this:
http://mystie.tumblr.com/post/428700586/goodbye-my-lover-by-james-blunt-did-i
"I just kinda like the feeling of being stuck at home. I want it to be bad. I want the wind to lash like hell’s fury, and the snow to pound and pile as if all the pain on Earth needs to be buried under the white fresh snow."
Traveling with someone is a unique way of getting to know them. You learn so many things about them in such a short period of time: their quirks, their likes and dislikes, what makes them happy, how they like to spend their spare time, how they plan, how much they value punctuality.
This is some random person's blog, hope they don't mind me putting up the link:
http://seejy.wordpress.com/2010/04/06/william-aitch-from-stranger-to-friend/
I like this:
http://mystie.tumblr.com/post/428700586/goodbye-my-lover-by-james-blunt-did-i
"I just kinda like the feeling of being stuck at home. I want it to be bad. I want the wind to lash like hell’s fury, and the snow to pound and pile as if all the pain on Earth needs to be buried under the white fresh snow."
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Dear Lizard
Dear Lizard who's been on my table for weeks now and is still not dead, yet likes to sit on my table and stare at me all day, hardly moving an inch in the whole day,
I have come to accept you as part of my day now. You remind me to not leave any food lying open on the table, for fear that you may decide to be less lethargic and delve into it.
I apologise for that time when I thought you were dead because you hadn't moved even a leg in a week and tried to shove you down a poly bag using a broom. If you will forgive me, I will also try to get past the mini-heartattack you gave me when you suddenly jumped up on being touched.
I try to hide you behind my calendar, so I do not have to peer into the icy depths of your clear bright black eyes. I must admit, I am a little creeped out by you.
But you are teaching me to appreciate other living beings too. Though I would have been more pleased if you were more active, and would do me the kind service of eating up the insects that fly into my room without fail everyday, unless I keep the windows and door closed and suffocate myself to death.
I do think that I will miss you when you finally decide to walk towards the light at the end of the tunnel.
I have come to accept you as part of my day now. You remind me to not leave any food lying open on the table, for fear that you may decide to be less lethargic and delve into it.
I apologise for that time when I thought you were dead because you hadn't moved even a leg in a week and tried to shove you down a poly bag using a broom. If you will forgive me, I will also try to get past the mini-heartattack you gave me when you suddenly jumped up on being touched.
I try to hide you behind my calendar, so I do not have to peer into the icy depths of your clear bright black eyes. I must admit, I am a little creeped out by you.
But you are teaching me to appreciate other living beings too. Though I would have been more pleased if you were more active, and would do me the kind service of eating up the insects that fly into my room without fail everyday, unless I keep the windows and door closed and suffocate myself to death.
I do think that I will miss you when you finally decide to walk towards the light at the end of the tunnel.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Friday, April 9, 2010
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Mazaak
What do you call an intelligent man in America?
A tourist.
Yo momma is so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
What is the similarity between a man and cake?
Once on the lips, always on the hips.
Single women claim that all the good men are married, while all married women complain about their lousy husbands.
This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man.
A house, inhabited by a Greek on ground level, an Italian on first floor and a German on second, got on fire. Who survived?
The German. He was out practicing marching.
If Windows is the solution, can we please have the problem back?
In a world without walls and fences - who needs Windows and Gates?
Microsoft is not the answer. It is the question. And the answer is no!
What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brunette?
Artificial intelligence.
A little kid asks his father, "Daddy, is God a man or a woman?"
"Both son. God is both."
After a while the kid comes again and asks, "Daddy, is God black or white?"
"Both son, both."
The child returns a few minutes later and says, "Daddy, is Michael Jackson God?"
How many men would it take to mop a floor?
No one knows. They've never done it.
Did you hear about the terrorists who took a courthouse full of lawyers hostage?
They threatened to release one every hour unless their demands were met.
A tourist.
Yo momma is so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
What is the similarity between a man and cake?
Once on the lips, always on the hips.
Single women claim that all the good men are married, while all married women complain about their lousy husbands.
This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man.
A house, inhabited by a Greek on ground level, an Italian on first floor and a German on second, got on fire. Who survived?
The German. He was out practicing marching.
If Windows is the solution, can we please have the problem back?
In a world without walls and fences - who needs Windows and Gates?
Microsoft is not the answer. It is the question. And the answer is no!
What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brunette?
Artificial intelligence.
A little kid asks his father, "Daddy, is God a man or a woman?"
"Both son. God is both."
After a while the kid comes again and asks, "Daddy, is God black or white?"
"Both son, both."
The child returns a few minutes later and says, "Daddy, is Michael Jackson God?"
How many men would it take to mop a floor?
No one knows. They've never done it.
Did you hear about the terrorists who took a courthouse full of lawyers hostage?
They threatened to release one every hour unless their demands were met.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Confused and bemused
Why is it that when I talk to you, I don't want to talk to you and wish that you would stop asking me questions and just shut the hell up. But when I don't talk to you for a while, I feel the urge to buzz you?
Afraid to heal, 'cause that would mean goodbye
Jem - You will make it
One day sunlight hits a photograph
And it makes you smile
The memories dance around you now
And they make you smile
You're not alone
You'll never be
Just like the stars
They oversee
And they whisper to you
You're still, you're still, you're still, you're still alive
I feel your pain, I wrote this song for you, for you
You will make it, you will make it through
I promise you, they would want you to
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glints on snow
I am the sun on ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn rain
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight
I am the soft stars that shine at night
Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there; I did not die.
One day sunlight hits a photograph
And it makes you smile
The memories dance around you now
And they make you smile
You're not alone
You'll never be
Just like the stars
They oversee
And they whisper to you
You're still, you're still, you're still, you're still alive
I feel your pain, I wrote this song for you, for you
You will make it, you will make it through
I promise you, they would want you to
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glints on snow
I am the sun on ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn rain
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight
I am the soft stars that shine at night
Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there; I did not die.
Jem - Flying High
I know, oh yes
I know that we can't
be together
but, I just like to dream
It's so strange
the way our paths have crossed
how we were brought together
hmmm, it's written in the stars it seems
Feel so nice
oh yeah you feel so nice
I'd love to spend the night
but I can't pay the price
oh no, no
I know that we can't
be together
but, I just like to dream
It's so strange
the way our paths have crossed
how we were brought together
hmmm, it's written in the stars it seems
Feel so nice
oh yeah you feel so nice
I'd love to spend the night
but I can't pay the price
oh no, no
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Were you real?
I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
I think I made you up inside my head.
But I grow old and I forget your name.
I think I made you up inside my head.
Men. Tsk.
Ever notice how so many of women's problems can be traced to the male gender?
1) MENstruation
2) MENopause
3) MENtal breakdown
4) GUYnecology
5) HIMmorrhoids
:D :D :D
1) MENstruation
2) MENopause
3) MENtal breakdown
4) GUYnecology
5) HIMmorrhoids
:D :D :D
Facebook groups I adore
Mom, Dad. This is Bob. He's 97 and rich. We love each other.
NUS stands for No Use Studying
Knock knock: Penny? · Knock knock: Penny? · Knock Knock: Penny?
I judge you when you use poor grammar.
TRUST ME!! IM NOT HIGH IM JUST NATURALLY LIKE THIS
It Was Funny The First Time, But You Keep Going On And Killing It.
No you idiot, it's not my "time of month" you're just pissing me off
Thanks For Making Me Feel Short, Tall Person.
Wanting someone to say a certain thing because you have the perfect answer
Inbox (1) makes me nervous.
All those song lyrics I put as my status, have a meaning.
Seein someone ugly and looking at your friend saying" thats your boyfriend"
"OI PERSON, MY FRIEND THINKS YOUR HOT!" "dude, shut up!"
i dont like you either, stop giving me dirty looks you cow.
Telling inanimate objects to STAY when they look like they're going to fall
Sorry I didn't realise you were too cool to talk to me now.
I like people who actually make an effort to keep a conversation alive.
There is always a reason behind every "Just Wondering"
Rumours inform you amazing things that you did not even know about yourself
Your weird. I like you.
I use smileys to make sure my messages dont look rude :-)
Trying to balance the light switch between ON and OFF
"WAIT!, WAIT!, WAIT!" I Didn't Mean To Send That! "Message Sent."...Aw F@ck
That fake laugh you do when an adult tries to be funny
You piss me off so much, I just wanna hit you with a brick.
ICSE.....I Cant Stand Education......ISC.....I Still Cant
Because I read Twilight I have unrealistic expectations in Men
My perfect day always begins with a good shit in the morning
Dont walk into my life if you plan on walking out
I was certain i gave you up. But when i see your face, i miss you, AGAIN.
I'm a Mathematician. THAT DOES NOT MEAN I CAN COUNT!!
"Studying" is student and dying put together
I can't remember what I learned last year and this happens every year
I would take a bullet for u.. Not the head but like in the leg or something
If all fails in life, Open a Roti Stand
I Fix Electronics By Hitting Them. It Works Every Time.
I didn't type that message to excercise my fingers, I want a reply.
Procrastinators UNITE... ... tomorrow
I have dropped my phone on my face while laying down texting.
I stand in the shower aimlessly for ages just because its warm
I still watch raindrops on the window to see which one "wins"
If the world ends in 2012, our school will STILL be open
"Do you want to share that with the class?" "No that's why I whispered it."
In 2013, i'll call up the director of 2012 and ask him, 'SO'?
Love d feeling when u wake up b4 ur alarm and knw u can sleep a bit more :D
Next time the fire alarm goes off, something better be fucking burning.
Yeah, ok, yes, yeah, yeah, ok, yes, ok, i know, ok, yes, BYE MOM.
I don't care if I have a closet full of clothes, there's NOTHING TO WEAR!
I do my deepest thinking in the shower or in bed before I fall asleep
Life Should Have An Undo Button!
I need to get off of facebook and put my face IN A BOOK
I was good at math before they decided to mix the alphabet in it.
I hate it when someone else takes the piece of food I have mentally claimed
I Flip My Pillow Over to Get To The Cold Side
I Dont care How Comfortable Crocs Are, You Look Like A Dumbass.
I Never Finish My Eraser Because It Is Either Stolen,Lost,or Cut In Half
fall down.get hurt.get up n say "im fine,im fine".turn round n say"ow!"
Friendship is not about “I m sorry “ its about “abbe teri galti hai “ :D
Talking to an old friend makes you realise how much your life has changed.
My bed is so possessive. Every morning it does not want me to leave.
Grad Students: they're Not Bad People, they Just Made Terrible Life Choices
I know You Are Lying, But I Want To Hear The Bullshit You Will Come Up With.
it's a status, not your diary [Ok I do this too.]
screaming DIE when you spray bug spray on a bug.
After an argument I think about clever things I should have said
*20 Notifications Later* Why did I Even Press Like?
I want to be an exchange student for the rest of my life !!!!
Better to know and be disappointed, than to never know and always wonder.
I love popping bubble wrap!!!
I Check My Fridge Every 5 Minutes Hoping Something Will Magically Appear
I'm Saving Myself For Wild, Passionate, Awkward Honeymoon Sex
The only people you need in your life are the ones that need you in theirs.
I take a nap, I wake up and think it's the next day.
I can forgive.............. but i cant forget !!!
There was a time when blackberry and apple were just fruits...
Thanks Chat, I only wrote that once, but twice is fine
People that don't know me think I'm quiet, people that know me wish I was
How an induction motor starts?? Ans. BuddrrrrrrrrrburrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrBurrrr
I don't remember if it was a dream, or if it actually happened
"& i was like.." "& she was like.." "& he was like...." "then i was like.."
When my Internet is down, I forget that the rest of my computer still works
sometimes when im walking i try keeping my feet in the little square tiles.
Sometimes you forgive people simply because you still want them in ur life
After Monday & Tuesday even the Calender says W T F...
How Headphones get Tangled up on Their Own, I'll Never Understand.
Don't worry, I also don't know what to do while they sing me Happy Birthday.
I Didn't Trip, I Was Testing Gravity. It Still Works.
Trying to find your phone when its on silent is one of life's hardest tasks.
gud frnd stops u frm fighting, best frnd "MAR SALE KO JO HOGA DEKH LENGE."
BHAGVAN UTHALE.......... EXAMS KE BAAD PHIR BHEJ DENA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
paper beats rock? ok,i'll throw a rock at u & u defend urseself with paper
I stay up late every night, and realize it's a bad idea every morning.
p.s. When I find a group name funny, or something that I can relate, I add it here, so that I don't become the crazy lady who joins too many Facebook groups :)
p.p.s. I am so tempted to correct the English in many of these group names!
NUS stands for No Use Studying
Knock knock: Penny? · Knock knock: Penny? · Knock Knock: Penny?
I judge you when you use poor grammar.
TRUST ME!! IM NOT HIGH IM JUST NATURALLY LIKE THIS
It Was Funny The First Time, But You Keep Going On And Killing It.
No you idiot, it's not my "time of month" you're just pissing me off
Thanks For Making Me Feel Short, Tall Person.
Wanting someone to say a certain thing because you have the perfect answer
Inbox (1) makes me nervous.
All those song lyrics I put as my status, have a meaning.
Seein someone ugly and looking at your friend saying" thats your boyfriend"
"OI PERSON, MY FRIEND THINKS YOUR HOT!" "dude, shut up!"
i dont like you either, stop giving me dirty looks you cow.
Telling inanimate objects to STAY when they look like they're going to fall
Sorry I didn't realise you were too cool to talk to me now.
I like people who actually make an effort to keep a conversation alive.
There is always a reason behind every "Just Wondering"
Rumours inform you amazing things that you did not even know about yourself
Your weird. I like you.
I use smileys to make sure my messages dont look rude :-)
Trying to balance the light switch between ON and OFF
"WAIT!, WAIT!, WAIT!" I Didn't Mean To Send That! "Message Sent."...Aw F@ck
That fake laugh you do when an adult tries to be funny
You piss me off so much, I just wanna hit you with a brick.
ICSE.....I Cant Stand Education......ISC.....I Still Cant
Because I read Twilight I have unrealistic expectations in Men
My perfect day always begins with a good shit in the morning
Dont walk into my life if you plan on walking out
I was certain i gave you up. But when i see your face, i miss you, AGAIN.
I'm a Mathematician. THAT DOES NOT MEAN I CAN COUNT!!
"Studying" is student and dying put together
I can't remember what I learned last year and this happens every year
I would take a bullet for u.. Not the head but like in the leg or something
If all fails in life, Open a Roti Stand
I Fix Electronics By Hitting Them. It Works Every Time.
I didn't type that message to excercise my fingers, I want a reply.
Procrastinators UNITE... ... tomorrow
I have dropped my phone on my face while laying down texting.
I stand in the shower aimlessly for ages just because its warm
I still watch raindrops on the window to see which one "wins"
If the world ends in 2012, our school will STILL be open
"Do you want to share that with the class?" "No that's why I whispered it."
In 2013, i'll call up the director of 2012 and ask him, 'SO'?
Love d feeling when u wake up b4 ur alarm and knw u can sleep a bit more :D
Next time the fire alarm goes off, something better be fucking burning.
Yeah, ok, yes, yeah, yeah, ok, yes, ok, i know, ok, yes, BYE MOM.
I don't care if I have a closet full of clothes, there's NOTHING TO WEAR!
I do my deepest thinking in the shower or in bed before I fall asleep
Life Should Have An Undo Button!
I need to get off of facebook and put my face IN A BOOK
I was good at math before they decided to mix the alphabet in it.
I hate it when someone else takes the piece of food I have mentally claimed
I Flip My Pillow Over to Get To The Cold Side
I Dont care How Comfortable Crocs Are, You Look Like A Dumbass.
I Never Finish My Eraser Because It Is Either Stolen,Lost,or Cut In Half
fall down.get hurt.get up n say "im fine,im fine".turn round n say"ow!"
Friendship is not about “I m sorry “ its about “abbe teri galti hai “ :D
Talking to an old friend makes you realise how much your life has changed.
My bed is so possessive. Every morning it does not want me to leave.
Grad Students: they're Not Bad People, they Just Made Terrible Life Choices
I know You Are Lying, But I Want To Hear The Bullshit You Will Come Up With.
it's a status, not your diary [Ok I do this too.]
screaming DIE when you spray bug spray on a bug.
After an argument I think about clever things I should have said
*20 Notifications Later* Why did I Even Press Like?
I want to be an exchange student for the rest of my life !!!!
Better to know and be disappointed, than to never know and always wonder.
I love popping bubble wrap!!!
I Check My Fridge Every 5 Minutes Hoping Something Will Magically Appear
I'm Saving Myself For Wild, Passionate, Awkward Honeymoon Sex
The only people you need in your life are the ones that need you in theirs.
I take a nap, I wake up and think it's the next day.
I can forgive.............. but i cant forget !!!
There was a time when blackberry and apple were just fruits...
Thanks Chat, I only wrote that once, but twice is fine
People that don't know me think I'm quiet, people that know me wish I was
How an induction motor starts?? Ans. BuddrrrrrrrrrburrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrBurrrr
I don't remember if it was a dream, or if it actually happened
"& i was like.." "& she was like.." "& he was like...." "then i was like.."
When my Internet is down, I forget that the rest of my computer still works
sometimes when im walking i try keeping my feet in the little square tiles.
Sometimes you forgive people simply because you still want them in ur life
After Monday & Tuesday even the Calender says W T F...
How Headphones get Tangled up on Their Own, I'll Never Understand.
Don't worry, I also don't know what to do while they sing me Happy Birthday.
I Didn't Trip, I Was Testing Gravity. It Still Works.
Trying to find your phone when its on silent is one of life's hardest tasks.
gud frnd stops u frm fighting, best frnd "MAR SALE KO JO HOGA DEKH LENGE."
BHAGVAN UTHALE.......... EXAMS KE BAAD PHIR BHEJ DENA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
paper beats rock? ok,i'll throw a rock at u & u defend urseself with paper
I stay up late every night, and realize it's a bad idea every morning.
p.s. When I find a group name funny, or something that I can relate, I add it here, so that I don't become the crazy lady who joins too many Facebook groups :)
p.p.s. I am so tempted to correct the English in many of these group names!
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Main samay hoon
There are 2 seemingly contradictory quotes that I quite like and agree with.
Time heals all wounds.
There's too much that time cannot erase.
A plausible way for the twain to meet would be to reason that with time, when the wound is healed, a scar is left; a lasting impression which even the tides of time cannot wash away.
There is something beautiful about all scars of whatever nature. A scar means the hurt is over, the wound is closed and healed, done with.
Time heals all wounds.
There's too much that time cannot erase.
A plausible way for the twain to meet would be to reason that with time, when the wound is healed, a scar is left; a lasting impression which even the tides of time cannot wash away.
There is something beautiful about all scars of whatever nature. A scar means the hurt is over, the wound is closed and healed, done with.
I heart Bailey
I have five rules. Memorize them. Rule number one, don't bother sucking up. I already hate you, that's not gonna change.
Every intern wants to perform their first surgery. That's not your job. Do you know what your job is? To make your resident happy. Do I look happy? No! Why? Because my interns are whiny. You know what will make me look happy? Having the code team staffed, having the trauma pages answered, having the weekend labs delivered and having someone down in the pit doing the sutures. No one holds a scalpel until I'm so happy I'm Mary Freaking Poppins.
[to the interns] "I've been gone for two weeks. Two weeks and you ran off two residents? I've got people phoning me at home, screaming, telling me my interns are a bunch of Rosemary's Babies. Nobody wants you! Do you think I have time for this? I'm pregnant. I'm supposed to be on bed rest. I'm supposed to be growing a human being. I'm supposed to be calm. Do I look calm? Did I raise you fools to be pariahs?
My heart rate is 110, I’m burning 3,000 calories a day, my legs are swollen, I've got indigestion and gas. Did you know carrying a boy in your uterus means you burn 10 percent more calories than if you had a girl? Guess what I’m carrying. I tried for seven damn years and a month before my fellowship notifications the stick turns blue. Men. From the very beginning they just suck the life right out of you. I’m not leaving. I’m pregnant.
Because I need something more. I know you all have your messy love lives and your secrets and your silliness, but I want more. I need something to hold on to. I need a reason to believe that medicine can do more than stitch you up and send you away. I need to believe that medicine can not only save lives, but change lives! I need... I need... to believe in something the way I used to believe in you all. Sign the papers!
About Derek: Lots of hair. Too many women. Likes elevators and long walks on the beach.
Izzie's probation: No touching patients, no talking to patients, no rolling your eyes at patients, or your superiors.
Oh, you think I got to choose my interns? And I picked you people... 'cause you're all such a surgical dream team? [to Alex] You, you're lazy. [to Izzie] You're whiney. [to Meredith] Butter fingers over there... downright depressing. [to Cristina] You, Yang, you're just annoying. Choosing their own interns!
I'm in the middle of a divorce. People call me the Nazi, and it's not because of my ice blue eyes. I spend 12 hours a day carving people up, and I like it. I have a child and I have no room for casual anything. I'm angry all the time. ... You want lunch, or you wanna show me the scan?
I had 5 interns. 4 of you have been on this table. One of you has cancer, one of you died. You'd better not pull anything funny on me Grey.
Every intern wants to perform their first surgery. That's not your job. Do you know what your job is? To make your resident happy. Do I look happy? No! Why? Because my interns are whiny. You know what will make me look happy? Having the code team staffed, having the trauma pages answered, having the weekend labs delivered and having someone down in the pit doing the sutures. No one holds a scalpel until I'm so happy I'm Mary Freaking Poppins.
[to the interns] "I've been gone for two weeks. Two weeks and you ran off two residents? I've got people phoning me at home, screaming, telling me my interns are a bunch of Rosemary's Babies. Nobody wants you! Do you think I have time for this? I'm pregnant. I'm supposed to be on bed rest. I'm supposed to be growing a human being. I'm supposed to be calm. Do I look calm? Did I raise you fools to be pariahs?
My heart rate is 110, I’m burning 3,000 calories a day, my legs are swollen, I've got indigestion and gas. Did you know carrying a boy in your uterus means you burn 10 percent more calories than if you had a girl? Guess what I’m carrying. I tried for seven damn years and a month before my fellowship notifications the stick turns blue. Men. From the very beginning they just suck the life right out of you. I’m not leaving. I’m pregnant.
Because I need something more. I know you all have your messy love lives and your secrets and your silliness, but I want more. I need something to hold on to. I need a reason to believe that medicine can do more than stitch you up and send you away. I need to believe that medicine can not only save lives, but change lives! I need... I need... to believe in something the way I used to believe in you all. Sign the papers!
About Derek: Lots of hair. Too many women. Likes elevators and long walks on the beach.
Izzie's probation: No touching patients, no talking to patients, no rolling your eyes at patients, or your superiors.
Oh, you think I got to choose my interns? And I picked you people... 'cause you're all such a surgical dream team? [to Alex] You, you're lazy. [to Izzie] You're whiney. [to Meredith] Butter fingers over there... downright depressing. [to Cristina] You, Yang, you're just annoying. Choosing their own interns!
I'm in the middle of a divorce. People call me the Nazi, and it's not because of my ice blue eyes. I spend 12 hours a day carving people up, and I like it. I have a child and I have no room for casual anything. I'm angry all the time. ... You want lunch, or you wanna show me the scan?
I had 5 interns. 4 of you have been on this table. One of you has cancer, one of you died. You'd better not pull anything funny on me Grey.
Inglourious Basterds
My name is Lt. Aldo Raine and I'm putting together a special team, and I need me eight soldiers. Eight Jewish-American soldiers.
Now, y'all might've heard rumors about the armada happening soon. Well, we'll be leaving a little earlier. We're gonna be dropped into France, dressed as civilians. And once we're in enemy territory, as a bushwhackin' guerrilla army, we're gonna be doin' one thing and one thing only... killin' Nazis.
Now, I don't know about y'all, but I sure as hell didn't come down from the goddamn Smoky Mountains, cross five thousand miles of water, fight my way through half of Sicily and jump out of a fuckin' air-o-plane to teach the Nazis lessons in humanity.
Nazi ain't got no humanity. They're the foot soldiers of a Jew-hatin', mass murderin' maniac and they need to be dee-stroyed. That's why any and every every son of a bitch we find wearin' a Nazi uniform, they're gonna die.
Now, I'm the direct descendant of the mountain man Jim Bridger. That means I got a little Injun in me. And our battle plan will be that of an Apache resistance.
We will be cruel to the Germans, and through our cruelty they will know who we are. And they will find the evidence of our cruelty in the disemboweled, dismembered, and disfigured bodies of their brothers we leave behind us.
And the German won't not be able to help themselves but to imagine the cruelty their brothers endured at our hands, and our boot heels, and the edge of our knives.
And the German will be sickened by us, and the German will talk about us, and the German will fear us. And when the German closes their eyes at night and they're tortured by their subconscious for the evil they have done, it will be with thoughts of us they are tortured with.
Sound good?
But I got a word of warning to all would be warriors. When you join my command, you take on debit. A debit you owe me, personally.
Each and every man under my command, owes me, one hundred Nazi scalps.
And I want my scalps. And all y'all will git me, one hundred Nazi scalps, taken from the heads of one hundred dead Nazi's or you will die trying.
You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business; we in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin'.
Frankly, watchin' Donny beat Nazis to death is is the closest we ever get to goin' to the movies.
We got a German here who wants to die for his country! Oblige him!
There's a special rung in hell reserved for people who waste good scotch. And seeing as I might be rapping on the door momentarily...
I love rumors! Facts can be so misleading, where rumors, true or false, are often revealing.
Whiskey, straight. No junk in it.
The doggie doc’s gonna dig that slug outta your gam. Then he’s gonna wrap it in a cast and you’ve got a good how-I-broke-my-leg-mountain-climbing story. That’s German, ain’t it? Y’all like climbing mountains, dontcha?
I don’t. I like smoking, drinking, and ordering in restaurants. But I see your point.
I know this is a silly question before I ask it, but can you Americans speak any other language besides English?
We have all our rotten eggs in one basket. The objective of the operation: blow up the basket.
And 999 point 999 times out of a million, you would be correct. But in the pages of history, every once in a while, fate reaches out and extends its hand.
Enormous changes at the last minute? That's not very Germatic. Why the hell is Goebbels doin' stuff so damn peculiar.
Now, y'all might've heard rumors about the armada happening soon. Well, we'll be leaving a little earlier. We're gonna be dropped into France, dressed as civilians. And once we're in enemy territory, as a bushwhackin' guerrilla army, we're gonna be doin' one thing and one thing only... killin' Nazis.
Now, I don't know about y'all, but I sure as hell didn't come down from the goddamn Smoky Mountains, cross five thousand miles of water, fight my way through half of Sicily and jump out of a fuckin' air-o-plane to teach the Nazis lessons in humanity.
Nazi ain't got no humanity. They're the foot soldiers of a Jew-hatin', mass murderin' maniac and they need to be dee-stroyed. That's why any and every every son of a bitch we find wearin' a Nazi uniform, they're gonna die.
Now, I'm the direct descendant of the mountain man Jim Bridger. That means I got a little Injun in me. And our battle plan will be that of an Apache resistance.
We will be cruel to the Germans, and through our cruelty they will know who we are. And they will find the evidence of our cruelty in the disemboweled, dismembered, and disfigured bodies of their brothers we leave behind us.
And the German won't not be able to help themselves but to imagine the cruelty their brothers endured at our hands, and our boot heels, and the edge of our knives.
And the German will be sickened by us, and the German will talk about us, and the German will fear us. And when the German closes their eyes at night and they're tortured by their subconscious for the evil they have done, it will be with thoughts of us they are tortured with.
Sound good?
But I got a word of warning to all would be warriors. When you join my command, you take on debit. A debit you owe me, personally.
Each and every man under my command, owes me, one hundred Nazi scalps.
And I want my scalps. And all y'all will git me, one hundred Nazi scalps, taken from the heads of one hundred dead Nazi's or you will die trying.
You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business; we in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin'.
Frankly, watchin' Donny beat Nazis to death is is the closest we ever get to goin' to the movies.
We got a German here who wants to die for his country! Oblige him!
There's a special rung in hell reserved for people who waste good scotch. And seeing as I might be rapping on the door momentarily...
I love rumors! Facts can be so misleading, where rumors, true or false, are often revealing.
Whiskey, straight. No junk in it.
The doggie doc’s gonna dig that slug outta your gam. Then he’s gonna wrap it in a cast and you’ve got a good how-I-broke-my-leg-mountain-climbing story. That’s German, ain’t it? Y’all like climbing mountains, dontcha?
I don’t. I like smoking, drinking, and ordering in restaurants. But I see your point.
I know this is a silly question before I ask it, but can you Americans speak any other language besides English?
We have all our rotten eggs in one basket. The objective of the operation: blow up the basket.
And 999 point 999 times out of a million, you would be correct. But in the pages of history, every once in a while, fate reaches out and extends its hand.
Enormous changes at the last minute? That's not very Germatic. Why the hell is Goebbels doin' stuff so damn peculiar.
Friday, April 2, 2010
MyPaper, YourPaper, OurPaper---ToiletPaper
"I use MyPaper every morning, what do you use?" -flush sound-
So the sentiments in the opposite camp about a recent T event seem to be running high. Now of course we are not as gifted as certain someones in coming up with ToiletPaper, but we shall give our 2 cents worth, since well, us poor losers need to be heard as well.
Talking about losers, hats off to NUT University (No Use Trying) for being the sorest losers in the history of mankind. Let alone being glad for having finally taken the T event after decades, all they seem to be able to talk about is how "undeserving" a win their opponents got, effectively making NUS the winners. So thank you, we appreciate your support. Having won the "hearts and accolades" of their own university people (Bravo!), from next year they should just back out from all other categories and "lust" only for dance since that is where their "greed" lies.
Whereas NUS people have the courtesy to appreciate talent and effort when they see it even in their opponents, NUTs obviously are incapable of looking beyond the thick foliage they live in. Using Assbook as their publisher, they have done all they can to insult others, thereby belittling their own performer's efforts. A job well done.
While Mayawati ji seems to find the whole of Europe insufficient to keep her occupied and off Assbook, MMS services appear to be unable to sever themselves from free campus service providers. They are likely to continue unabated for many years to come unless something drastic is done to make them stop dancing-off.
The NUT Indian Ensemble, on the other hand, needed a Chatur Naar’s "melodic" claps to keep them from going off beat and the audience from losing interest. Needless to say, the plan didn’t work out as well, with the only saving grace being the use of popular songs decipherable mainly through the use of familiar posters flashed on screens. Yet they continue to orgasm over their imagined prowess.
While the NUT Desi Band seemed to take on ladies based solely on how badly they could possibly sing, the redeeming factor of the Firangi band was that the legendary lady in distasteful lingerie from last year thankfully did not make an appearance this time round.
All in all, the NUTs with the missing nuts have successfully transformed their win into the great "global NUT depression" and have lashed out at unsuspecting fellow NUTters, we will butt out now and wish them a speedy recovery.
So the sentiments in the opposite camp about a recent T event seem to be running high. Now of course we are not as gifted as certain someones in coming up with ToiletPaper, but we shall give our 2 cents worth, since well, us poor losers need to be heard as well.
Talking about losers, hats off to NUT University (No Use Trying) for being the sorest losers in the history of mankind. Let alone being glad for having finally taken the T event after decades, all they seem to be able to talk about is how "undeserving" a win their opponents got, effectively making NUS the winners. So thank you, we appreciate your support. Having won the "hearts and accolades" of their own university people (Bravo!), from next year they should just back out from all other categories and "lust" only for dance since that is where their "greed" lies.
Whereas NUS people have the courtesy to appreciate talent and effort when they see it even in their opponents, NUTs obviously are incapable of looking beyond the thick foliage they live in. Using Assbook as their publisher, they have done all they can to insult others, thereby belittling their own performer's efforts. A job well done.
While Mayawati ji seems to find the whole of Europe insufficient to keep her occupied and off Assbook, MMS services appear to be unable to sever themselves from free campus service providers. They are likely to continue unabated for many years to come unless something drastic is done to make them stop dancing-off.
The NUT Indian Ensemble, on the other hand, needed a Chatur Naar’s "melodic" claps to keep them from going off beat and the audience from losing interest. Needless to say, the plan didn’t work out as well, with the only saving grace being the use of popular songs decipherable mainly through the use of familiar posters flashed on screens. Yet they continue to orgasm over their imagined prowess.
While the NUT Desi Band seemed to take on ladies based solely on how badly they could possibly sing, the redeeming factor of the Firangi band was that the legendary lady in distasteful lingerie from last year thankfully did not make an appearance this time round.
All in all, the NUTs with the missing nuts have successfully transformed their win into the great "global NUT depression" and have lashed out at unsuspecting fellow NUTters, we will butt out now and wish them a speedy recovery.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Hippity hoppity
Friend:
[Shark Emoticon]
Me:
ooh im scared
Friend:
being sarcastic are you now?
Me:
oh u understood e tone
Friend:
u r going straight to hell for treating me this way
Me:
well i was going thr anyway
might as well make e best of it
:D
Fun times.
Ya I'm bored.
[Shark Emoticon]
Me:
ooh im scared
Friend:
being sarcastic are you now?
Me:
oh u understood e tone
Friend:
u r going straight to hell for treating me this way
Me:
well i was going thr anyway
might as well make e best of it
:D
Fun times.
Ya I'm bored.
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