What’s that they say? Promises are meant to be broken. Friendships are meant to be forgotten. Whether you’ve known people for a month, a year, or a decade, it matters not. Sooner or later, they erase you from the fabric of their lives. And it’s advisable you do the same. If not, the only one who’ll suffer is you.
Kitni baatein yaad aati hai, tasveerein si ban jaati hain.
Main kaise inhein bhooloon, dil ko kya samjhaaun.
Kyun poori ho na paayi daastaan, kaise aayi hai aisi dooriyaan
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Golden words. [How are words golden?]
Words of wisdom from a random novel Camille: The Lady of the Camellias by Alexandre Dumas (the non-famous one).
We are sometimes obliged to buy the satisfaction of our souls at the expense of our bodies, and we suffer still more, when, afterward, that satisfaction is denied us.
I am not rich enough to love you as I would nor poor enough to love you as you would. Let us then forget, you a name which must be indifferent enough to you, I a happiness which has become impossible.
Truly, we poor creatures of chance have fantastic desires and inconceivable loves. We give ourselves now for one thing, now for another. There are men who ruin themselves without obtaining the least thing from us; there are others who obtain us for a bouquet of flowers. Our hearts have their caprices; it is their one distraction and their one excuse. I gave myself to you sooner than I ever did to any man, I swear to you; and do you know why? Because when you saw me spitting blood you took my hand; because you wept; because you are the only human being who has ever pitied me. I am going to say a mad thing to you: I once had a little dog who looked at me with a sad look when I coughed; that is the only creature I ever loved. When he died I cried more than when my mother died. It is true that for twelve years of her life she used to beat me. Well, I loved you all at once, as much as my dog. If men knew what they can have for a tear, they would be better loved and we should be less ruinous to them.
We are sometimes obliged to buy the satisfaction of our souls at the expense of our bodies, and we suffer still more, when, afterward, that satisfaction is denied us.
I am not rich enough to love you as I would nor poor enough to love you as you would. Let us then forget, you a name which must be indifferent enough to you, I a happiness which has become impossible.
Truly, we poor creatures of chance have fantastic desires and inconceivable loves. We give ourselves now for one thing, now for another. There are men who ruin themselves without obtaining the least thing from us; there are others who obtain us for a bouquet of flowers. Our hearts have their caprices; it is their one distraction and their one excuse. I gave myself to you sooner than I ever did to any man, I swear to you; and do you know why? Because when you saw me spitting blood you took my hand; because you wept; because you are the only human being who has ever pitied me. I am going to say a mad thing to you: I once had a little dog who looked at me with a sad look when I coughed; that is the only creature I ever loved. When he died I cried more than when my mother died. It is true that for twelve years of her life she used to beat me. Well, I loved you all at once, as much as my dog. If men knew what they can have for a tear, they would be better loved and we should be less ruinous to them.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
York&U
This is from York U handbook for international students. The first I know is true, the second I shall wait and see.
Many students go through a period when they find themselves unable to handle the family expectations on a day to day basis. Living independently for a long period of time can sometimes make it difficult for you to have someone else make decisions for you.
Students feel homesick for Canada when they return home. You may feel that you no longer fit in. This is part of the process of living in a different culture. The best way to deal with this is to anticipate it. You’ve dealt with culture shock when you arrived in Canada so you know your strengths. Remember to allow time to reacquaint yourself with your home country when you return.
Many students go through a period when they find themselves unable to handle the family expectations on a day to day basis. Living independently for a long period of time can sometimes make it difficult for you to have someone else make decisions for you.
Students feel homesick for Canada when they return home. You may feel that you no longer fit in. This is part of the process of living in a different culture. The best way to deal with this is to anticipate it. You’ve dealt with culture shock when you arrived in Canada so you know your strengths. Remember to allow time to reacquaint yourself with your home country when you return.
Weird money
This is legal money. Australian $100. Wonder why there is a gunda on it? :OE dude is called Sir Douglas Mawson, and was an Australian Antarctic explorer and geologist.
Friday, July 24, 2009
FOOLS
This world is full of fools. The most harmless type seem to be those who recognise that they are fools. The most dangerous by far are those who are convinced they are biggest smarty pants in the whole world. I can't stand people who have such high impressions of themselves that their head is going to burst with the self involvement. Whose “knowledge” is gained by reading up random, inconsequential bits and pieces of information that they are convinced it is essential to know. For example, knowing the year your university was established ranks right up there in the MUST KNOW list, and woe betide anyone who overlooks this “crucial” bit of information.
Then again their misplaced sense of pride irks one and all. Apparently the fact that the university you are enrolled in is a million times better in every single way than theirs is too trivial a fact to be taken into consideration. They will go and read up stupid things on Wikipedia, and then come “test” you. And if you do not manage to tell them satisfactory answers, they will look down upon as someone barely worth knowing.
Even if you know every damned thing there is to know, it gives you no right to make your head swell like that. Because then you don’t know manners or humility. So what if you know about this place, we have both learnt stuff, albeit very different stuff.
These are the kind of people you can tolerate, even pity, as long as their mouth is tightly shut. But horror of horrors when that unthinking tongue is unleashed. There is just so much that you can do to prevent yourself from literally scratching out their eye balls in your fury.
Such are the people who are so sure in their own limited world of knowing everything that there is to know that they will never open their mind to the idea that there is a bigger world out there, that other people’s priority in life might be a teeny tiny bit different from yours.
And I am sorry but looking down on others who are in fact better off than you is not something I do. In fact, it doesn’t even matter if the other person is better off or not, you do not look down on them. You do not judge them for what they do. You have no fucking right to adjudge their circumstances in life and then blame them for their decisions.
It matters not whether you are rich or poor, have seen how much of the world, what matters is that while we may all live different lives, we all have experiences worth the same. And all our lives are equally worth it. I try to remember that when I see people less well off than me, and I sure as hell try to keep it in mind when I see people much better off.
I think my deciding to go where I did, and do what I am doing is a better thing than anything you have done in your whole darned life. I might not remember what year my university was established in, but I damned well know that even to be considered for admission you have to have more 90% in your exams. I also know that both the ICSE and CBSE all India toppers for my batch chose to come there. I would say such information is more important to know, than let’s say, the motto of the university?
It is indeed a pity that I have met two such people in the past 3 months. I hope to never meet another one, but unfortunately I know there are others like this out there.
Retards.
Then again their misplaced sense of pride irks one and all. Apparently the fact that the university you are enrolled in is a million times better in every single way than theirs is too trivial a fact to be taken into consideration. They will go and read up stupid things on Wikipedia, and then come “test” you. And if you do not manage to tell them satisfactory answers, they will look down upon as someone barely worth knowing.
Even if you know every damned thing there is to know, it gives you no right to make your head swell like that. Because then you don’t know manners or humility. So what if you know about this place, we have both learnt stuff, albeit very different stuff.
These are the kind of people you can tolerate, even pity, as long as their mouth is tightly shut. But horror of horrors when that unthinking tongue is unleashed. There is just so much that you can do to prevent yourself from literally scratching out their eye balls in your fury.
Such are the people who are so sure in their own limited world of knowing everything that there is to know that they will never open their mind to the idea that there is a bigger world out there, that other people’s priority in life might be a teeny tiny bit different from yours.
And I am sorry but looking down on others who are in fact better off than you is not something I do. In fact, it doesn’t even matter if the other person is better off or not, you do not look down on them. You do not judge them for what they do. You have no fucking right to adjudge their circumstances in life and then blame them for their decisions.
It matters not whether you are rich or poor, have seen how much of the world, what matters is that while we may all live different lives, we all have experiences worth the same. And all our lives are equally worth it. I try to remember that when I see people less well off than me, and I sure as hell try to keep it in mind when I see people much better off.
I think my deciding to go where I did, and do what I am doing is a better thing than anything you have done in your whole darned life. I might not remember what year my university was established in, but I damned well know that even to be considered for admission you have to have more 90% in your exams. I also know that both the ICSE and CBSE all India toppers for my batch chose to come there. I would say such information is more important to know, than let’s say, the motto of the university?
It is indeed a pity that I have met two such people in the past 3 months. I hope to never meet another one, but unfortunately I know there are others like this out there.
Retards.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Life is (not) A-Wun
Life sucks.
I want to get out of here so bad.
Oppressive.
Meaningless.
Excessive reading and writing.
Dowdy.
Boring.
Run away.
Eye candy.
Moving on.
Headache.
Unintentional mistakes.
Unreasonable.
Excuses.
New people.
MLID FML cracked.
Jealousy.
'Home'sick.
Stupid excuses.
Too much time.
Missing friends.
Normalty.
Counting the days. 50-20.
I want to get out of here so bad.
Oppressive.
Meaningless.
Excessive reading and writing.
Dowdy.
Boring.
Run away.
Eye candy.
Moving on.
Headache.
Unintentional mistakes.
Unreasonable.
Excuses.
New people.
MLID FML cracked.
Jealousy.
'Home'sick.
Stupid excuses.
Too much time.
Missing friends.
Normalty.
Counting the days. 50-20.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Life- a work in progess
Am at work abhi. Just had lunch. Searching for York U communities on fb to join. Doesn't seem to be a large sized one there. Life is slow. I found an awesome blog of a tortured soul with attitude. Amazing read.
As I said, life is slow. Nothing to do. ZZzzzzzzz.......
As I said, life is slow. Nothing to do. ZZzzzzzzz.......
Monday, July 6, 2009
And life is a road and I wanna keep going on...
Sometimes people come into your life & you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be (possibly your roommate, neighbour, professor, long lost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger), but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way.
The people that you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you will become. Even the bad experiences are learned from. In fact, they are the most poignant ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love & how to open your heart.
Today is the tomorrow you were worried about yesterday.... Was it worth it?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It`s funny how hello always ends with a goodbye,
it`s funny how good memories can start to make you cry.
It`s funny how forever never really seems to last,
it`s funny how much you`d lose if you forgot about your past.
It`s funny how friends can just leave you when you`re down,
it`s funny how when you need someone they`re never around.
It`s funny how people change and think they`re so much better,
it`s funny how many lies can be packed in one "love letter".
It`s funny how people forgive even though they can't forget,
it`s funny how one night can contain so much regret.
It`s funny how ironic life turns out to be
but the funniest part of all, none of that`s funny to me.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I've learned that our backgrounds and circumstances may have influenced our lives, but we are responsible for who we become.
I've learned that there are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it.
I've learned that even when you feel you have no more to give, a friend cries out and you find the strength to help.
I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved, and the rest is up to them.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back.
I've learned that sometimes when I am angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others, but sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
The people that you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you will become. Even the bad experiences are learned from. In fact, they are the most poignant ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love & how to open your heart.
Today is the tomorrow you were worried about yesterday.... Was it worth it?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It`s funny how hello always ends with a goodbye,
it`s funny how good memories can start to make you cry.
It`s funny how forever never really seems to last,
it`s funny how much you`d lose if you forgot about your past.
It`s funny how friends can just leave you when you`re down,
it`s funny how when you need someone they`re never around.
It`s funny how people change and think they`re so much better,
it`s funny how many lies can be packed in one "love letter".
It`s funny how people forgive even though they can't forget,
it`s funny how one night can contain so much regret.
It`s funny how ironic life turns out to be
but the funniest part of all, none of that`s funny to me.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I've learned that our backgrounds and circumstances may have influenced our lives, but we are responsible for who we become.
I've learned that there are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it.
I've learned that even when you feel you have no more to give, a friend cries out and you find the strength to help.
I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved, and the rest is up to them.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back.
I've learned that sometimes when I am angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others, but sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Rantings n ravings
So its been a long time since I've written anything proper here. Mainly because I've been keeping a diary, which records my rantings, mainly during work. And its mostly stuff that cannot be posted here :P
So let me recount the past few weeks.
I'm home right now. Life is so-so. I've gotten used to being in India, and have in fact realized how Indian I am. I can actually carry out conversations with old uncles, and say all the right things, lament over how things have become and how good they used to be in olden times :O
Also, I have realized that my wailing about parents and the restrictions at home are not limited to me. They are present in every family in India, nay, the Indian subcontinent, though to a different extent and in varied manners.
I do miss Singapore a lot. This is going to be the longest time I've been away in the last 5 years. Usually it was for a maximum duration of a month, but this time it'll be seven. Oh how I do miss it! Random things. Like 1 day I suddenly wished I could sit in bus 51 and go all the way till Bugis, just for the heck of it. I used to do it both when I worked in 7-Eleven and then at TiE, and I really do love the route. And the fact that it takes almost an hour, which I spent in listening to songs and thinking about the randomest of random things. And one day I wanted to be at the Sheares bus-stop. And one day I missed the library entrance! Just imagine. And sometimes during the day or when I wake up in the morning, I suddenly forget where I am and for a glorious moment feel like I'm back there. Ya I know. I'm weird.
And I miss BIA! I wish I could go back to it.
Work has been okay. It was quite slack in the first 2 weeks, because I sat next to pita-shree and did almost no work. Other than the Buddhism paper. Then this week I did some work, interviewed 4 people for the different sections in the department. And my boss seemed quite eager to impart wisdom as well. Office people are ok. Definitely very old. Very few younger ones are there. The people I have lunch with are people who joined an year back. 1 female is from Bihar, 1 from Delhi and 2 guys from, you guessed it, Chennai. With moustaches. You get the picture. But they're nice people. Though their conversation mainly hinges on either work stuff or lame jokes. The kind we used to find funny in 8th standard. Apparently some people take a longer time to get over them, if at all. Ok I hope they never read my blog.
Other than that I've been procrastinating on a lot of work. Visa,ticket,modules,papers.
Everyone seems to be a bit dead and far-away nowadays, all caught up in their lives. Holidays are always like that. With so much time on their hands, people find something or the other to keep them occupied, and then they drift apart to come back again when the sem starts. Which I won't be there for this time. So sad.
Also, I realize, yet again, that I tend to take up the lingo of people I talk to very very fast. For example, 'so sad'. Hmph.
My home comp was repaired and the older one donated to the irritating nephews who'd come over for 4 days and turned my house and life upside down. That brought some entertainment into life. The comp guy I mean, not the nephews. But was too short lived.
So that is pretty much all that has happened. Its funny how small little things can make or break your day. Like talking to new people. Getting ignored by older ones. Needless to say, my mood swings are always in full swing.
I've been too lazy to bother to organise any get-togethers with people here. Or even bother calling them up. But then noone else bothers, ever. So why should I? Coz my life sucks. I haven't gone out for any fun stuff since I came back. Plus my dentist has very gladly informed me she'll have to root canal another tooth of mine. Stupid woman. Bent on torturing me. I hate dentists. But at least I'll have lenses in a few days. Haven't used them for so many months now.
Also, I've realized the need to keep myself occupied. Going for work suits me as it helps me pass the day. Else I just keep torturing myself all day, wishing for things I can't have.
So let me recount the past few weeks.
I'm home right now. Life is so-so. I've gotten used to being in India, and have in fact realized how Indian I am. I can actually carry out conversations with old uncles, and say all the right things, lament over how things have become and how good they used to be in olden times :O
Also, I have realized that my wailing about parents and the restrictions at home are not limited to me. They are present in every family in India, nay, the Indian subcontinent, though to a different extent and in varied manners.
I do miss Singapore a lot. This is going to be the longest time I've been away in the last 5 years. Usually it was for a maximum duration of a month, but this time it'll be seven. Oh how I do miss it! Random things. Like 1 day I suddenly wished I could sit in bus 51 and go all the way till Bugis, just for the heck of it. I used to do it both when I worked in 7-Eleven and then at TiE, and I really do love the route. And the fact that it takes almost an hour, which I spent in listening to songs and thinking about the randomest of random things. And one day I wanted to be at the Sheares bus-stop. And one day I missed the library entrance! Just imagine. And sometimes during the day or when I wake up in the morning, I suddenly forget where I am and for a glorious moment feel like I'm back there. Ya I know. I'm weird.
And I miss BIA! I wish I could go back to it.
Work has been okay. It was quite slack in the first 2 weeks, because I sat next to pita-shree and did almost no work. Other than the Buddhism paper. Then this week I did some work, interviewed 4 people for the different sections in the department. And my boss seemed quite eager to impart wisdom as well. Office people are ok. Definitely very old. Very few younger ones are there. The people I have lunch with are people who joined an year back. 1 female is from Bihar, 1 from Delhi and 2 guys from, you guessed it, Chennai. With moustaches. You get the picture. But they're nice people. Though their conversation mainly hinges on either work stuff or lame jokes. The kind we used to find funny in 8th standard. Apparently some people take a longer time to get over them, if at all. Ok I hope they never read my blog.
Other than that I've been procrastinating on a lot of work. Visa,ticket,modules,papers.
Everyone seems to be a bit dead and far-away nowadays, all caught up in their lives. Holidays are always like that. With so much time on their hands, people find something or the other to keep them occupied, and then they drift apart to come back again when the sem starts. Which I won't be there for this time. So sad.
Also, I realize, yet again, that I tend to take up the lingo of people I talk to very very fast. For example, 'so sad'. Hmph.
My home comp was repaired and the older one donated to the irritating nephews who'd come over for 4 days and turned my house and life upside down. That brought some entertainment into life. The comp guy I mean, not the nephews. But was too short lived.
So that is pretty much all that has happened. Its funny how small little things can make or break your day. Like talking to new people. Getting ignored by older ones. Needless to say, my mood swings are always in full swing.
I've been too lazy to bother to organise any get-togethers with people here. Or even bother calling them up. But then noone else bothers, ever. So why should I? Coz my life sucks. I haven't gone out for any fun stuff since I came back. Plus my dentist has very gladly informed me she'll have to root canal another tooth of mine. Stupid woman. Bent on torturing me. I hate dentists. But at least I'll have lenses in a few days. Haven't used them for so many months now.
Also, I've realized the need to keep myself occupied. Going for work suits me as it helps me pass the day. Else I just keep torturing myself all day, wishing for things I can't have.
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