Saturday, September 11, 2010

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

When people say, "I’m so tired it's not even funny" or "my head hurts so much it's not even funny", why would it even be funny in the first place?

Why is there a top line on lined paper if we never use it?

Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?

Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up?

If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?

Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?

If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

Can a fire truck park in the fire lane?

"Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?

Are marbles made of marble?

If you pay for a vacation and your plane crashes on the way there, do you get you money back? (Granted you lived)

Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?

Can you get cornered in a round room?

Why do we wash behind our ears? Who really looks there?

Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends?

If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?

How come we say 'It's colder than hell outside' when isn't it realistically always colder than hell since hell is supposed to be fire and brimstone?

Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?

Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?

Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?

"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?

Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear??

Why is it that when you get out of a swimming pool, your urine is hotter when you use the restroom?

What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn?

How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?

If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware?

If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?

Do they have girl’s bathrooms in gay bars?

Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?

Why do you go “back and forth” to town if you really must go forth before you go back?

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

Why doos shaped macaroni taste better than the normal kind?

Why can't you get a tan on your palms?

Why is it that when babies are born they only weigh like 7 lbs yet the mom weighs 30 lbs more?

If you die and you have a broken leg do they take the cast off?

Is sign language the same in languages other than English?

Why is "number" abbreviated as "no"? When there is no "o" in number?

If you're sick for one week and on one of those days they had to cancel school because of snow, do you have to make up that day in June?

Why do you get in trouble for blocking an exit when you're standing in the doorway? In case of an emergency, wouldn't you run out, too, therefore NOT blocking the exit?

Why are people allowed to put naked statues outside but why can't we run outside naked?

Why do all superheroes wear spandex?

If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?

Why did Mary own a little lamb?

If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money?

Why can’t a baby cry while it’s inside its mother?

Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are both the same number of letters?

If you were under house arrest and you lived in a mobile home, wouldn’t you be able to go anywhere you want?

If our body temperature is normally 98.6 degrees, how come when it's 98 degrees outside, no one is comfortable?

What would happen if you were to feed a pig some bacon?

If scientists were ever going to figure out how to travel through time, wouldn’t we now be seeing people from the future?

If the president were gay, would his husband be the first man?

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