Ok so Grey's Anatomy is seriously messing with my head. And also my ears, which feel like there are headphones on them when there are none. Yeah well my speakers are spoilt.
But GA has me doubting, once again, if there is such a thing as people being happy, forever. I know it does not exist, but isn’t it the hope for it, that keeps us going? After all what are we really searching for?
The people who thought it would be enough to just be with one another find out it’s not enough. It never is. People who love each other start hiding their true feelings. So as to not hurt the other person. And slowly they drift apart. A point of no return is reached.
And in every relationship, is there always one person who tries harder, loves more, suffers more? While the other is distant, even has an affair?
Why do we cheat? Is it possible to love two people at the same time? How does a wife stay with her husband when she knows he is having an affair? Or the other way around? Why do we love in the first place? When we know we are going to get hurt. Because nobody is perfect.
When someone hurts us, we use different means to cope with it. They say time heals all wounds. Does it really? Aren’t there some wounds which never heal, some tears which can never be mended, some tears which can never stop flowing?
I’m not really looking for an answer here; I just want to put these questions out into the cosmos, into that big black wide hole of nothingness.
All these emotions that we have, we hide within us. At the end of the day, aren’t we all just damaged goods, trying our best to just survive? We become dark and twisted from inside, and slowly, we rot away.
I know this is depressing, what I write, but it makes me feel better to write about it. So I will. You can judge me all you want, but if you are not there for me when I fall, who the hell are you to pass judgements on me?
I love dialogues. I love the way they touch me. I love the way they express how I feel. I love the way I remember them. When I watch a TV series, it is not just some people enacting it for me, I’m there, right there among them. If they get hurt, I get hurt; if they’re happy, so am I. If it is an emotional series, I cry. I beat myself into a mushy pulp over it, which I know is not good or smart, but I don’t regret it. That is the way I am. That is the way I want to be, the way I choose to be. I cannot not care. It is stupid, but in that moment I am alive. I might not move from my bed for hours or even days, but I travel so much more through my mind.
Following are a few quotes from GA.
- It may be better to stay in the dark. There might be fear, but there is also hope.
- Communication – it’s really the first thing we learn. But the funny thing is, the older we get, the more difficult it becomes to decide what to say, or how to say it.
- I’ve heard it is possible to grow up. I just haven’t seen anyone do it.
- I’m all glued back together now. I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what you broke. You don’t get to call me a whore.
- At some point maybe we accept the dream has become a nightmare.
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