It wouldn't be New Year's if I didn't have regrets.

New Year's eve is like every other night; there is no pause in the march of the universe, no breathless moment of silence among created things that the passage of another twelve months may be noted; and yet no man has quite the same thoughts this evening that come with the coming of darkness on other nights. ~Hamilton Wright Mabie

The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to. ~P.J. O'Rourke

New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual. ~Mark Twain

For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning.
~T.S. Eliot, "Little Gidding"

People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas.

Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go. ~Brooks Atkinson

I do think New Year's resolutions can't technically be expected to begin on New Year's Day, don't you? Since, because it's an extension of New Year's Eve, smokers are already on a smoking roll and cannot be expected to stop abruptly on the stroke of midnight with so much nicotine in the system. Also dieting on New Year's Day isn't a good idea as you can't eat rationally but really need to be free to consume whatever is necessary, moment by moment, in order to ease your hangover. I think it would be much more sensible if resolutions began generally on January the second. ~Helen Fielding, Bridget Jones's Diary

A happy New Year! Grant that I
May bring no tear to any eye
When this New Year in time shall end
Let it be said I've played the friend,
Have lived and loved and labored here,
And made of it a happy year.
~Edgar Guest

May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions. ~Joey Adams

He who breaks a resolution is a weakling;
He who makes one is a fool.
~F.M. Knowles

New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions. ~Mark Twain

The beginning of the end

So this really is it, huh? Last sem, last year you can get away with being a university kid and all that. The last time time of so many things - bidding for modules, December holidays with nothing to do, staying up too late, hanging out with friends in hostel lounges with no worries of going to work the next day.

The other day I was checking my passport's expiry date, in one of those moments of panic before travel when you are convinced something must be waiting to go wrong, like me having forgotten to apply for a new passport. It was 2014. And then I wondered what life will have been like when (if?) I do reach that year. What more stamps/visas will my passport show? Will I decide to study further? Where will I be working? Where will I be living?

So many questions, so few answers. But one thing is for certain, life will be different. Better or worse, time will show. Maybe I will be one of those people who will love their job. Maybe I won't. Maybe I will still be living in Singapore. Maybe I will be in a country with snow and real Christmases.

Different is good. Change is good. It is inevitable, too.

New Year Resolutions

Despite the fact that I think New Year resolutions are lame, and also the fact that I am convinced I will never stick to them, these are my first ever resolutions. For 2011:

1. Be more positive.

I tend to always imagine the worst possible outcome. While this is usually helpful in case of failure, and leads to a pleasant surprise in case of a positive outcome. But I don't think at the end of the day it is worth making myself miserable for too long. And I also doubt it leads to a positive outcome.

2. Be less whiny.

I tend to whine a lot. About how much work I have, about how much life sucks, how boring it is, how hard it is, etc. And I have discovered that the people who whine less always do more. So, less whining.

3. Be nicer.

This I believe shall be hard. But recently I've been told that I am not as evil as I think I am. So I shall try to get in touch with the nicer side of me. Some deep soul searching needed for that I'm sure.

4. Be more outgoing.

Last semester, last chance to have mindless fun, last time when you are still classified as kids and can get away with stupidity. Once you start working, it's all downhill from there. (I realize this contradicts point 1 right here, so I shall rephrase). There are lesser opportunities to follow your whims and fancies with a 830-6 job.

5. Be that person. Who has a job.

For this, I need to have good grades, be hardworking like I was in Year 2 Sem 1. So less slacking, more working.

6. Be more trusting.

And have faith that it will be alright in the end. That if I get what I want, I will be good at it. That if I don't get what I am hoping for right now, it will still be ok in the long run, and that the universe has a better plan for me.

Ever wonder why, sometimes when we have it all, we decide to squander it all? On a whim? A fancy?

When we know one decision, to do something with your life, would lead to everything you could ever have hoped for?

When it is finally falling into place, why are we so unwilling to take that last step?

Are we afraid we will fail? And it would be better to blame it on lack of effort than an inherent failing?

Why do we set ourselves up for failure? When we know we are better than that?

Hum, rahein ya na rahein kal, yaad aayenge ye pal..

Do you remember..

Good morning, yesterday
You wake up and time has slipped away
And suddenly it's hard to find
The memories you left behind
Remember, do you remember

The laughter and the tears
The shadows of misty yesteryears
The good times and the bad you've seen
And all the others in between
Remember, do you remember
The times of your life.

Reach back for the joy and the sorrow
Put them away in your mind
The memories are time that you borrow
To spend when you get to tomorrow

Here comes the saddest part
The seasons are passing one by one
So gather moments while you may
Collect the dreams you dream today
Remember, will you remember
The times of your life.

Why do other people's lives always seem so much more fun than your own?

Last Christmas...

This has been playing around in malls and I like it :D



Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, You gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Once bitten and twice shy
I keep my distance but you still catch my eye
Tell me baby do you recognise me?
Well it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me

(Happy Christmas!) I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying "I Love You" I meant it
Now I know what a fool I've been
But if you kissed me now I know you'd fool me again

India

Mosquitoes, traffic you're amazed you lived through (whether driving or crossing the road), awful cold (and it's not even that cold, it just feels awful. Oh central heating, when will thou come to India?), the never changing home (seriously, nothing changes. In the first 5 minutes of entering home, I go around making a mental note of what is different. The same conversations, dialogues, bickering, cursing).

And then a family trip to Andaman. The beach on Havelock Islands was long and pretty. Other than that, I didn't find anything that spectacular or new. I don't mean to be a bitch, but seriously, don't all beaches look the same? Unless they're too pretty or too awful.

I remember when I was in 4th grade, we had planned a trip to Andaman. Then the ship got cancelled, my mom got bitten by a crazy monkey (no kidding), and we ended up all sad. So at least that long ago dream became true. Though at the time I had never seen a beach so it was a "wow" thing. Now, not so much.

So anyway, 9 flights and 9 days later, I am back in Singapore. And wondering why I came back so early. It all made more sense when I was cribbing about the cold in India to go back asap. Now there is nothing to do here. Except eat and sleep. And convince myself to get off my lazy bum and do something to lose some weight.