MLID

Today, I realized that we are saving this world from global warming - we rarely turn on air conditioning or heat; we use lota instead of flushing down a bucket full of water; instead of throwing away empty plastic containers, we use them to put other food in; we use less fuel because we're hardly allowed to go anywhere (i mean, we are always studying). GO DESIS!! MLID.

Today, since it's Sunday, I figured it would be a nice relaxing day. But no, at 6 in the afternoon my mom finds out that her sister's neighbor's daughter is getting married. The wedding begins at 7 and it is now 7:30. I'm sitting in my khamiz waiting for my parents to get ready. -sigh- MLID.

Today, my uncle saw me in my basketball shorts and gasped. He hurried me inside the house and told me to wear some fullpants on my chaddi. MLID

Today, I was getting ready to go to the movies with friends. I was brushing when my dad walked into the bathroom and said I couldn't go anymore. He thought I wanted fresh breath to make out with some guy. FML. MLID

Today, we bought a new store. I was the first one to enter and as soon as i first stepped into the store my mom slapped me across the head. Puzzled by her violence, i looked at her. "Vat" she said "You stepped in with your left foot you idiot. now you'll bring us bad luck" MLID

Today, my dad came back from India. Earlier in the week, my mom had asked her sister to send us a jar of Nivea face cream from India because it's apparently cheaper there. We found four tubes of Fair and Lovely when we opened the suitcase. MLID.

Today, my mom was applying Vicks VapoRub to my brother's chest and back. We've had the jar for quite some time, so I picked it up to read the label. It had expired in 1998. MLID

Today, my little brother asked my mom what love was. My mom replied, "its a mental disorder in the brain, don't fall in love". MLID

Today, as my two younger cousins were leaving they bent down and touched my grandma's feet for ashirwad, she wished for both of them to get wonderful wives. They're 10 and 1...MLID

All my old clothes are potential "pochas" for my mom. MLID.

Today, I saw that my cousins profile picture was actually of him and not of a random bollywood star. I've never been so proud. MLID

Today I finally realized that all those stories about 15/16 year olds getting rishta proposals at desi gatherings, are actually NOT fake. I got 4 in 2 days while I was at a jilsah (religious gathering) in VA. One of them is a 25 year old doctor, and my mom actually considered the proposal. She's asked the guy's mom if the are willing to wait a few years until I finish highschool. I'm terrified. MLID

I have just realized that whenever Desi parents receive a call, they stare at the caller ID for far, far longer than anyone else would, and then pick it up. MLID

Today, my mom bought salt and pepper shakers because they were cheap, 87 cents each. When we got home, she then proceeded to tell me to fill one shaker up with salt, and the other...with chaat masala...MLID

Today, the answer to final "Jeopardy" was 'Kama Sutra'. My dad blurted out the answer, then seemed unsure as to whether he should feel proud that the answer was Indian, or whether he should be ashamed it's considered "erotic literature". MLID

Today, I brought with me an Indian sweet to eat during break. One of my gori classmates started panicking before i put it into my mouth because she thought i didn't fully remove the aluminum foil. MLID.

Today, we had to turn around and go home on a family road trip because my Mother sneezed and that is apparently bad luck. MLID.

Today, my mom slapped me because I was standing in the way of Dance India Dance. MLID

Today, I was forced to go to group counseling by my parents. We had to introduce ourselves, and say why we were there. It turned out everyone else was in there for hardcore drugs, running away from home, and one guy for stabbing someone. I went last, and had to stand up to say I was there because I got my first C in school. MLID