Amazing quotes!

I love quotes! Here are a few from my collection..

Funny:

My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn’t.

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to be sarcastic.

When men stop being assholes, I’ll stop being a bitch.

Work is worship, and I’m an atheist.

I believe I can fly. I’m just scared of jumping out of the window and giving it a try.

Being bitchy and unstable is all part of my mystique.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

I know I've said some stupid things. And I wasn't even that drunk.

Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Just because one can reproduce does not mean one should.

Cigarette is a tube of tobacco with fire on one side and a fool on the other.

I hate people who take drugs. Especially those people in customs.

Booze is the answer. I don’t remember the question.

A witty saying proves nothing, though it can make you really, really famous.


Life:

The best things in life are unexpected, because there were no expectations.

Life is so constructed that an event does not, cannot and will not, match the expectation. -- Charlotte Bronte

As I know more of mankind I expect less of them, and am ready now to call a man a good man, upon easier terms than I was formerly.

You must never be satisfied with losing. You must get angry, terribly angry, about losing. But the mark of the good loser is that he takes his anger out on himself and not his victorious opponents or on his teammates. -- Richard Nixon

Suicide sometimes proceeds from cowardice, but not always; for cowardice sometimes prevents it; since as many live because they are afraid to die, as die because they are afraid to live.

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask myself, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a small voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'

Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans.

Life brings tears, smiles, and memories. The tears dry, the smiles fade, but the memories last forever.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.


Emotions:

Love is not blind. It sees more and not less. But because it sees more it is willing to see less.

The hardest part about saying goodbye is to have to do it again everyday.

Moving on is a simple thing; what it leaves behind is hard.

Well has it been said that there is no grief like the grief which does not speak.

War doesn’t determine who's right, it determines who's left.

Not all scars show, not all wounds heal,
Sometimes you can't always see,
The pain someone feels

Blessed are the hearts that can mend, for they shall never be broken.

Missing you could turn from pain to pleasure, if I knew you were missing me too.

Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle.

The most important things to say are those which often I did not think necessary for me to say, because they were too obvious.