Why do other people always seem to be able to move on faster than me? Why am I always left behind? Do other people really have an off-switch, which I somehow seem to lack?
Now I dislike this place on a deeper level. It's not just about the weather, or the people anymore. Now it's the realization that all those issues that I wanted to escape from before exchange, they've hit me in the chest again. And now I don't have the thought of exchange and the consolation of being able to run away in the near future to look forward to. Now, no matter what, I'm stuck here, at least for the next 4 years. No escape. And I don't know how to deal with it anymore.
I need to have some faith. Faith that things are not always as bad as they seem. Faith that, no matter what, I will be able to survive, on my own, even if no one is there by my side. Faith that, in the end, everything's gonna be alright.
I miss having friends I can tell things to and they can understand what I'm talking about. I guess 7 months really is a long time.
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