I have five rules. Memorize them. Rule number one, don't bother sucking up. I already hate you, that's not gonna change.
Every intern wants to perform their first surgery. That's not your job. Do you know what your job is? To make your resident happy. Do I look happy? No! Why? Because my interns are whiny. You know what will make me look happy? Having the code team staffed, having the trauma pages answered, having the weekend labs delivered and having someone down in the pit doing the sutures. No one holds a scalpel until I'm so happy I'm Mary Freaking Poppins.
[to the interns] "I've been gone for two weeks. Two weeks and you ran off two residents? I've got people phoning me at home, screaming, telling me my interns are a bunch of Rosemary's Babies. Nobody wants you! Do you think I have time for this? I'm pregnant. I'm supposed to be on bed rest. I'm supposed to be growing a human being. I'm supposed to be calm. Do I look calm? Did I raise you fools to be pariahs?
My heart rate is 110, I’m burning 3,000 calories a day, my legs are swollen, I've got indigestion and gas. Did you know carrying a boy in your uterus means you burn 10 percent more calories than if you had a girl? Guess what I’m carrying. I tried for seven damn years and a month before my fellowship notifications the stick turns blue. Men. From the very beginning they just suck the life right out of you. I’m not leaving. I’m pregnant.
Because I need something more. I know you all have your messy love lives and your secrets and your silliness, but I want more. I need something to hold on to. I need a reason to believe that medicine can do more than stitch you up and send you away. I need to believe that medicine can not only save lives, but change lives! I need... I need... to believe in something the way I used to believe in you all. Sign the papers!
About Derek: Lots of hair. Too many women. Likes elevators and long walks on the beach.
Izzie's probation: No touching patients, no talking to patients, no rolling your eyes at patients, or your superiors.
Oh, you think I got to choose my interns? And I picked you people... 'cause you're all such a surgical dream team? [to Alex] You, you're lazy. [to Izzie] You're whiney. [to Meredith] Butter fingers over there... downright depressing. [to Cristina] You, Yang, you're just annoying. Choosing their own interns!
I'm in the middle of a divorce. People call me the Nazi, and it's not because of my ice blue eyes. I spend 12 hours a day carving people up, and I like it. I have a child and I have no room for casual anything. I'm angry all the time. ... You want lunch, or you wanna show me the scan?
I had 5 interns. 4 of you have been on this table. One of you has cancer, one of you died. You'd better not pull anything funny on me Grey.
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