Last one I swear (at least I think so)

Anatidaephobia. fear that somewhere somehow a duck is watching you

THEY'RE going THERE with THEIR friends. It's called grammar, use it.

I don't let my leg hang off the bed, I'm scared a monster will grab it

I shampoo really fast because something will get me while my eyes are close

Nothing to do so I think Ill eat everything in my house

paper beats rock? ok,i'll throw a rock at u & u defend urseself with paper

IT WASN'T ME!!!!! Oh that....... yes that was me

Yay backwards is Yay. Yay.

When I was your age, Pluto was a planet.

Petition for Steve Bucknor to retire from Umpiring at the earliest

Never ask a women her age, Man his Salary And a Student hiz marks. it hurts

Dost Fail ho Jaye to dhukh hota hai,Top maare To aur b jyada dhukh hota hai

Who is shawty? Apparently she has a lot of rapper boyfriends.

Anyone WhO tYpEs LiKe ThIs needs a punch in the face

Let's Quit College and Go to Hogwarts

After Harry Potter Seven Comes Out I Won't Have Anything To Live For

Im a good enough person to forgive you, but not stupid enough to trust you

I go deaf when im texting

"Who are you on the phone with?" "My drug dealer, mom."

When I was young our phones didn't have internet, they had SNAKE!

Staying up late with your best friend talking aimlessly about everything.

The nervous feeling you get when you press the send button on a risky text.

I Don't Actually Care- It's Just Fun To Argue With You

Smiling is always easier than explaining why u are sad...

Woah! What The Hell Are You Doing In My Dream? GET OUT!

When I Die, Someone Should Keep Updating My Status To Freak Out People

DEAR CUPID, WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT YOUR AIM.

Its funny how sitting "boy girl boy girl" used to be a punishment...

"Don't see me, don't see me, don't see me"... "HEYYY!!!" ... "f*ck"

OH CRAP . you just said something really sweet, now what do I say ?

Face-book is slowly but surely ruining my education

Tom, Its Been 30 Years ... Your Not Going To Eat Jerry

Seriously, life is better when you decide you don't care

Everything ELSE becomes so much more interesting during exams ...

Before starting any chapter, I count the number of pages !

I'm double majoring in Napping and Facebook with a minor in Procrastination

Physics doesn't exist, it's all gnomes

I don't no why, you just have one of those faces id like to punch

"PUT THAT PEN DOWN!" Alright, Miss, It's A Pen, Not A Gun.

If FaceB0ok wAs a sUbject .. mY parENts wuddA beEn s0 proUd *blush blush

During Vacations We Really Miss Oxford and Sometimes Want To Cry Because We Miss it So Much

University has robbed me of the ability to entertain myself.

I correct your bad grammar in my head while you're speaking

Dear grades, get well soon.